Running didn't help last night. My back was so sore. I only got in 1/4 mile running, then had to walk. As I was leaving, one friend asked me if I was ok. That was enough to just push me over the edge. My eyes filled up with tears that I had to fight back.

This morning I didn't take that medication, but the levels were so high in it, that it might take few days to clear out. Plus I have a few other things going on too which are making it even harder.

Toss it all together, I'm not where I want to be right now. I'm just sad and down. I hope I'm wrong with everything I'm feeling. I hate that I am as intuitive as I am, but unfortuately I am usually right when I think something is up. Right now, I think something is up. I want to be wrong. I hope I'm wrong. I'm wishing I'm wrong. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'm wrong. But I don't think I'm wrong.

I hope things in my life can get back to where they were. I hope emotionally I get back to where I was. I want my back to get better and I want everything to be ok. I want to be happy again.

I am going to need to focus on all the good things I have going for me, that can be hard to see right now. I'm just sad.

I'm sure soon I will get back to me. I'll be my chipper, smiling, fun, outgoing self again. It might not be until next week right now. I might need the weekend to get myself there again.