Long weekend

This was a much needed weekend. Saturday's funk is gone. I just needed that break and downtime. It was a tough week, tough couple of weeks.

Saturday night I was in bed pretty early. Sunday I was at the beach with mom all day and had a date last night. Things are good there. Today I napped and hung out at home, then did my running group. Now I have another date... well, as soon as I hop in the shower and leave! Not good when I'm supposed to be there in 30 minutes and I haven't showered yet! :)

I needed the break and the downtime. The beach helped. Too bad the sunscreen didn't work. I specifically checked the expiration date. I am CRISPY! It HURTS right now. Oh well.

Tomorrow back to the grind. I shouldn't really be going out tonight but that's ok. It'll be a low key night. As long as I get some sleep I should be ok. And I have golf tomorrow night, then drinks after.

SHOOT! I have no gas! LOL! Hmm... need to stop on my way. Oh well.

Time to hope in the shower... clock is ticking.

Funk

The past two weeks were a bit challenging. Last Saturday night I was so excited that the week was finally going to be over since it had been so tough. This week was worse. My best friend at work was part of the layoff. I'm just so crushed that she's gone and still in shock that the whole thing happened. Hard to trust everything now when we keep getting mixed information that just doesn't make sense.

My shoulders have the rocks back, but I know it is all stress related. Two weeks of this mess, and that's where it all goes. I'm trying to be active, have outlets to let it out and stretch. Hasn't made much difference yet, but I did skip swimming Thursday night to give my shoulders that break. Too bad that was the last chance... the pool is closed until October.

My running group and the fitness group as a whole is going amazingly well. I love my friends that I've made as part of this and I'm just really happy to have such great people in my life. The group and these friends have made a huge impact on me. I love this group and they are just amazing!

I've been dating someone new as well. He's a really great guy. He's nice, has his act together, and just good to me in general. I'm taking things really really slow without any pressure or expectations and just seeing what happens and where things go. So far so good. It is very different than anything I've done before... VERY different, but what I've had and done before obviously didn't work. So again, no expectations and just going with the flow of where this takes me.

Last night was a late night with the new guy. I actually fell asleep at his house for a couple of hours... his dog woke me up! Good thing! I ended up leaving around 3, but didn't sleep well once I was home. Tossed and turned most of the night.

Been in a funk most of the day. 6pm and I never showered, never left the house and barely did anything other than run the dishwasher, take the recycling downstairs to the bin, watch tv and read a magazine. I had a big list too... just lazy and in a funk. Not motivated to do anything, and I really don't even want to talk to anyone today.

The past 2 weeks have been very stressful, full of change and just overwhelming. I can only take so much change at once and this was too much for me. Toss in added stress and work being busy, I'm cooked! I hit my limit. And the 2 weeks finally caught up to me. I'm just lazy and chilling. Still in a funk and trying to shake it, but I really think I needed a whole day of nothing today. I'll shower later but for now, I'm enjoying the nothing.

Yesterday I did weights for an upper body workout. Damn! My arms are KILLING me and it has just been 24 hours. I'm in trouble in the morning. I might not be able to lift my arms by then. But with all the running and swimming, I already had definition and my baby bicep muscles! I figured a little weights would make a big difference quickly. Guess I just pushed it a little too much. I just need to be more consist ant with the weights so keep it up.

And 2 more days of this weekend. That's a REALLY good thing. The break is good. I need this. I'm tired. I've done nothing today but I'm still mentally exhausted from life in general. This break from everything and everyone is a good thing. I'm glad I canceled my plans for tonight. Staying home and doing nothing is a good thing for me.

Eventually I'll come out of the funk. Overall, I have a good life. I have good friends & family, a good job, and good everything. Life is good but I'm getting over the funk.

Last week was hard, yesterday alone was worse. One department at work was cut in half... 4 people were let go. Two of them were the last people I would have expected to see go and I'm crushed. It was not a good day. People were crying all afternoon and it was horrible. I was a mess.

Not looking forward to going into work today. Going to be tough.

Wow... only 90 minutes left of the week. Even being Saturday it was a little crazy for me. I'm tired but grateful to put this one behind me.

As crazy as it was, things are good. Work wise, life was nuts but more is being put on my plate in a good way. They are changing a bit of my responsibilities and adjusting what I'm doing but I like where things are at and the direction they are going. I know I am doing really well at my job and I know that my boss and others in management know that too.

My fitness group continues to be amazing. Six of us were running this morning at 9:30am. It was nice to see people keeping up with the training. Other than Sunday and golf being canceled Tuesday, I did something with this group the other 5 days this week. Three days of running, swimming on Thursday and dancing followed by drinks on Friday.

Last night was interesting. We had a great conversation while we were out. It was about being shy vs outgoing and building up your own individual confidence. It was interesting to see others perspectives. Plus things that had been said to me on Thursday night and earlier on Friday night too.

I'm always interested in perceptions. And the perceptions now that I am hearing about are pretty cool to me. I've been having people talk about how I am a great leader, how inspiring I am, my confidence, how outgoing I am and how self assured I am. I love hearing what people say when they talk about leadership. That is something I never really saw of myself and never really thought possible.

This group has brought out so much in me and so many new opportunities. I never knew I could be a leader. I have a thriving group of people who want to join us. I have made amazing friends and I put together nights out for us all the time. I have a whole new side of my personality that I didn't realize was there... but here it is, and now it is a main part of me.

I AM outgoing, confident, self assured, driven, and a leader. And I love it!

Just Good

Today was a crazy day. Work was just out of control! This whole week has been nuts. But that's the nature of the beast. I'm glad the running group is back on so I have that after work a couple of nights. But I do have lots going on... in a good way.

Even with a stressful work week, overall things are just better than they have ever been. I have ups and downs, we all do. I have some areas or situations that happen that upset me and cause stress but I manage it. I have so many healthy outlets now & so many ways to handle what life throws at me.

And when I do feel overwhelmed, I have ways to deal with that too, which have really really worked for me.

Its just weird to look back at my life 2 years ago. It was literally 2 years ago this month that I became an assistant organizer in the fitness group. It is amazing to see what that group has become and what I have become. I mean, even with people leaving the group, we are up over 50 people since April 1st! Members are having friends join. Its just really really cool.

And my role in it or better yet, its role in my life has been incredible! I have great friends from there and my whole lifestyle has changed. My priorities have changed. What I want to do it different. How I want to spend my time is different. What is important to me has changed.

I like where my life has gone and what it has become. I'm happy with where I am at. And I'm excited to see what else is coming for me! :)

Life is Good

It took me a little bit to get my head back in the game, but I really am in a good place. My running group is AMAZING! I love seeing these new runners progress. It is the coolest thing. I think I get more excited than they do! :)

I have great support with my friends. I have a great group of friends that I have somehow managed to get. They are amazing people. There is no drama, no bs, no attitude. Just good, fun, happy, supportive people. And already, I know I could call so many of them if I needed to and they would just be there. I hope they know it goes the same way back!

Just little things.... Saturday sending a quick text to a friend to remind her she's great... and she sent me back a great text too. Sending another friend a text when I was going on a date. She wanted me to text her when I got home to make sure I was ok. Saturday morning when I had car trouble and had to let someone take care of the running group for me... she was offering me rides and checked in to make sure I was ok.

These are new friends and it is already this great.

Work is good too. I'm really finding my way in this position and things are going really really well with it all.

Dating is fun and kind of in a new place that is very unfamiliar for me. But I'm having fun with it and just taking it all as it comes.

Just everything is good... well, ok, not the weather! Gray days are getting old. But otherwise, I'm good. I'm happy. Life has ups and downs. Curve balls come flying and you need to dodge now and again. But overall the course is good and life is good. I'm happy.

This is really nice for me. I'm still shocked at how much my life has changed in the past few years. I really am a completely different person in a completely different place. Its amazing to think where I was and where I am. EVERYTHING has changed. SO much! I can't imagine being where I was. I'm so glad I've made this journey and come out where I am. I'm good. I'm happy. And life is good! :)

Now its time for bed!

Meatheads

Just for kicks, I went back on to my Plenty of Fish dating profile. I haven't been on it for about a month... before the marathon. Well, I had LOTS of mail!

One email caught my eye. So I emailed him back and we've been messaging all week. I talked to him on Thursday night. For an hour and a half! We are going out tomorrow night. He's really nice and we do have lots in common too which is weird. Both grew up north of Boston, moved to south of Boston because of our jobs. We work maybe a mile away from each other. We are both half Irish and half Italian. We both work out a lot and are really into fitness. It was just funny talking to someone who gets so much of it. Sunday dinners all day. Roastbeef with sauce (a north shore thing). HUGE families. Living SO far away when it is 30 minutes. Just funny.

But he kind of seems like a meathead. A guido. But we'll see. I'm going to go into it for a fun night and see what happens. I know he's big, works out a lot. His goal right now is to get the bottom 2 abs. Really? WOW! That's a cut body and I won't lie, its kind of hot! LOL!

Last night I was out with friends at a country bar. The band was good and I was singing along to most of the songs. I started joking with my friends about some guys behind us. I said, "Turn around. Its Ronnie." She looked and said OMG! Jersey Shore!

He was HUGE! But really cute. He ended up hitting on me and was super nice. Yeah, I gave Ronnie my number too. We'll see! :)

So meathead and Ronnie. Is this what my summer is going to be?

Ronnie was funny. He said that he thought I was super cute. He saw me singing all the songs and knowing all the words. He loved it when I got up at my table and did line dancing on my own. And he finally came over when I was getting into the Sox game and getting mad when Drew was up (he SUCKS! Bases loaded, 2 outs, Drew up? I expect inning to end. Early jump for the bathroom line.)

I think that it is the change in my attitude. I have my confidence back. I don't care about meeting people. I'm out with friends, having fun, smiling and laughing. I'm happy and secure in myself. I have confidence that comes off. I have a new energy and attitude in myself. I'm secure in who I am. And I think that gets picked up on.

Me getting hit on by a guy 5 years younger than me who's HUGE and really cute? I mean he REALLY looks like Ronnie! When I was insecure, that wouldn't happen. But now it is.

I think this is going to be a very fun summer! :) Last night I told my friends I think this is the summer of meatheads. Maybe my taste is changing a little to that! LOL! :) My grandmother used to always tell me, "As much as you love everything Italian, why do you always end up with the Irish guys?" I think that is changing for the summer! :)

what goals do I work on?

Well, I'm trying for my May goals. I have gotten most days in the Gratitude journal. I have been much better with the water this month. I missed swimming Tuesday and Thursday last week, Sunday and Tuesday this week. Not too bad, but not wonderful.

I haven't done anything with thinking about any voluntering with kids yet. I'm not sure on the best way that would work for me and my schedule right now. I'll have to figure something out that works. But this will need more thought.

I'm still noticing when I have less patience. I know it is more when I'm not sleeping well. When I'm over tired, I'm not at my best. I didn't sleep last night so I was over tired, cranky and impatient today. I did my best to keep it in and not act out. I did ok. It was driving and stupid people on the road.

I've been spending lots of time thinking about what direction I want my career to go in. I have lots of ideas and I know where my passions are, but I'm trying to give it more thought and pull it all together. I'm not sure what the next steps will be or how to turn what I love to do into something I can make an income at and support myself at.

So what goals do I work on??
Well with the 101 list, I took a yoga class at a new studio last week with my friend Jill... finally turned in a groupon. It was fun! I'm looking forward to taking another class there. I have 5 more classes included too, which is great.

Then with having at least one date a month... I have a date planned on Sunday night. He wanted to go out before that but honestly I just don't have the time. I have plans every single day! Sunday night is the next night I have free. But so far so good. We'll see.

I'm still working on my 40 things in 40 months before I'm 40 list. Hard to come up with the last 10 things. I'm getting closer.

Making goals

So far I got 4 out of 5 days for my May goals. I missed both water and exercise on Tuesday. My ear infection from a couple of months ago came back with a vengeance... to the point that at work I had blood in my ear. NOT good.

Originally I was supposed to swim that night, but no swimming for me right now. SO that night I ended up just sitting on the sofa. I tried to be a little proactive about yesterday when I was supposed to swim. I ended up FINALLY turning in a Groupon for 30 1-day passes at a gym down the street. I got in touch with 2 friends who are members there and the 3 of us took a GREAT Pilate's class.

Tonight is dancing, tomorrow is a 5K and Sunday am is another Groupon for a yoga studio... already registered with a friend for a 9:30 class. Now I just need to make sure I drink my water.

I spent a little more time on my 40 things to do in the 40 months before I'm 40 list. I'm up to 29. Now I'm struggling for the last 11 things I want to do. But I'm pretty happy with the list so far.

But today is Friday. It is supposed to be 70 degrees and sunny. I just want to get out and enjoy this weekend! :)

40?

After doing my April Review/looking ahead to May the other day, I started reading a magazine. It had an article about 40 things to do to keep you looking younger. Between the 2, I started thinking.

Last year, my friend Tracie decided she was making a list... 40 things to do before she turned 40. Well she turned 40 in March. She didn't finish her list, but extended it for while she's 40.

Then I did the math. Not loving this fact, but I'll be 40 in 40 months. SO.... I am making a list of my own.

40 things to do that I have never done in the 40 months before I turn 40.

I can't come up with enough things! LOL! I've done so much in the past couple of years, so deciding on another 40 things I've never done is really hard. I have less than 15 and I've spent over an hour on it. This is harder than I thought.

I'll have to spend more time on this and decide on 40 things I want to try. Skydiving, bungi jumping, run Boston in under 4 1/2 hours, become a certified trainer, do a triathlon, go to the trapeze school are just a few on the short list. But now I'm stuck. Most at this point are fitness related, which I guess makes sense, since that's a HUGE focus in my life. I just need more things I've never done!

Funny, in 2009 when my new years resolution was to do 2 things each month outside of my comfort zone, I could never have imagined that 2 years later I would have a goal to run in the Boston Marathon AGAIN and this time to finish in under 4 1/2 hours! At that time my goal was to run a 5K all the way through without stopping! How far have I come in just 2 short years?

The focus of my life has completely changed. I have never in my life been this healthy or this fit. I have surrounded myself with people who either have heath as a focus or are working to have it be a big focus.

I'm really happy with the direction of my life. I don't know if I have ever been this happy with where I am. I've met so many personal goals, I have such great people around me who support me. I spend time doing things I love with people who's company I enjoy.

Life is just really really good! If it changed this much in just 2 years, I can't imagine what the next 2 are going to look like!

May Day

I am so happy that we are on to May. Starting Spring weather and getting warmer and warmer. Looking forward what is coming up, even how busy the month will be.

I'll have my running group Mondays and Wednesdays, swimming this week, then golf every other Tuesday, swimming every Thursday and dancing lessons on Friday nights. I'll be busy, but I'll be having fun with everything I'm doing too. I'm looking forward to it all.

Today was a 5K in NH... the Margarita 5K. SO much fun! A great after party too! :)

But now that April is over, time to review.
WOW, the marathon! Holy crap! I finished. My training suffered so much with my back injury. Going into a marathon only running 10 miles total in the 7 weeks prior? Not exactly well trained, but somehow my back held out. Too bad it has been hurting again since. :( Today too. NOT good for the 5K, but I really didn't push it. Not worth making it a long term injury. I'd rather only get in my track runs than really make it worse.

The dating relationship? I learned a lot about me and about other people with that whole thing. A lot. But I'm better for it.

Again with the marathon, the support I received... and continue to receive, absolutely amazing! My friends showing up, the money I raised and all the people who donated, the encouragement I got from everyone... work, family, friends. It was the best thing ever and it is continuing. Even yesterday with family. Someone said I was like a celebrity! LOL! :) It feels good to know I have so my positive support in my life.

My April goals were to continue the gratitude journal, which I LOVE doing. It is so nice to look back on it. This is something I plan on continuing for a very long time. Although it isn't something I remember to do every day, I do feel good writing in it.

The stretching every day didn't happen. I didn't really get enough in, which wasn't good.

Recognizing when I had a problem with patience. That actually did happen. I still lost patience, especially when driving (wow are there a TON of stupid drivers out there!) but I realized it and recognized it. That's the start. But generally, I don't think I lost my patience nor do I think I acted too quickly in any other situations. A few times doing this actually made me slow down and spend more time thinking before I responded to situations. I think this was a positive one too, that I will continue.

SO.... for May.

I will continue with the gratitude journal... that's sticking around.

I will continue to recognize when I am just reacting or being inpatient... even if I don't do anything other than realize it is happening.

Then for the 2 new healthy habits for the month.... Hmm....

1. I will do some sort of exercise every day for at least 15 minutes. (Today was a 5K! and with all the fitness group's events, it shouldn't be too hard)

2. I will drink at least 32 ounces of water a day.

Also... I want to start looking into doing something with kids again. After my aunts bday party and having 2 of my cousins, a 12 year old and 6 year old, hang out with me for hours, I realized how much I missed it. It was just fun spending time with them and connecting with them. And they loved it too. It was so funny to have the 12 year old ask me when I was leaving cuz he was telling his Papa that they had to leave if I was leaving! :)

And I want to spend time looking into a certification for group training and think about the direction I want to go with that. I love the fitness group and have had great feedback from last week. People telling me I am a great coach. I'm not a coach but I love the positive experience of it all.

I was brainstorming about becoming certified as a fitness instructor as well as becoming a life coach and finding a way to combine those 2 someway. Right now I'm just in the brainstorming phase, but we'll see where it goes.

That's where I'm at, and that's what I want for May. The warm weather is right around the corner! I want this to be a good month and I want my injuries to not bother me and I want to be healthy.