We only have a couple of hours left of the month. I'm slightly cranky today and have been most of the day. Work is nuts for end of month and I didn't get a good nights sleep last night. Plus, I'm not always a peach when I plan and expect my time to go one way but last minute have things unexpectedly change in a way I don't want. (Was supposed to go to the boyfriends house after his class at the gym. Didn't see a text from him that he didn't go and when I called, he was sleeping already. SO... not going over now, which is what I was planning on and expecting all day.)
I'm just spent. Work has been insane. Shoveling against the tide and not going anywhere. I'm a bit burnt out and extremely frustrated by things not going right, even when I ask for help or say that things aren't right. I want and need a vacation. Just time out of town. I've been trying to get it to happen and to plan something with the boyfriend... but so far, no go. I'm hoping for the weekend after New Years. Just to go ANYWHERE not home. That's all. I need a break from... from everything!
Christmas is now 25 days away. I have restaurant gift certificates left and that's it. I'm going to order 2 online next week and the last two are local, so I can even pick those up on Christmas Eve if I want. Oh, and I have the work crap too... $ for this, $ for that, $ for a 3rd thing, then the Yankee Swap.
I even ordered the boyfriends Christmas gift which is getting delivered to work tomorrow. SO glad I called to see how big the boxes would be. Yeah, I was told 15-20 pounds. Um ok. NO. Per the FedEx email... the 3 boxes? 6 pounds, 14 pounds, and 52 POUNDS! Yes, that's right, 52 POUNDS! How am I getting that out of my car and up the stairs into my apartment by myself? Really now?
Today I went online and registered for one class for the fitness thing. This is a sort of "pre" class to the group fitness certification for people who don't have much experience teaching, like me. I still need to talk to my mom. I told her that for Christmas, all I wanted was for her to pay for the three classes I want to take in February. They are $99 each. After that, I'll order the books I need and pay for the 2 online classes I'll need to do before the February class. That'll be another $250 I think. But $250 is much easier than $550! So hopefully she'll still agree to do it and I can get registered soon to make sure I secure my spot in those 3 classes.
I'm still brainstorming ideas for fundraising, which is going really well. I need to work out a few more details of things and then reach out and ask for help from a few people. I want to do a fund raising party at a all, with a band. SO... I know the band I want, but I have to ask her if she is willing. Then, I need to reach out and find a venue for either free or super cheap. I have a few ideas and some contacts, so we'll see how that goes. And I have a few raffle ideas and other fundraising party stuff too... plus a couple of backup bands if the one I want doesn't work out.
I haven't been doing enough brainstorming about what I want to do for fitness training or how I could do this. I just haven't been focused enough on it. I really need to put more time and energy into that one. This is important and what I want to do with my future, so I really need to put more into it.
And with my training too. I have to run tomorrow... blew it off tonight. I was SO tired and I'm still sore from Monday's kickboxing class (didn't go tonight because of both reasons). I really need to start stepping it up! This is getting scary!
Not to much else I guess. Just spreading myself too thin. I guess that's typical of me. But now it is really starting to wear on me. I'm tired. I'm burnt out and I'm overwhelmed with everything. I want a break. And its frustrating because I'm not sure if that is going to happen or not.
Oh well.
SO on to my December goals...
1. Run. Train. Consistently. How's that for a goal?
2. Watch my spending. Keep money in the bank and be reasonable with where my money is going.
3. Make solid plans for a fundraising party, including securing a venue and band as well as a few raffle prizes.
4. Have a plan for fitness training ready to go for New Years.
5. Stick with kickboxing. Only miss one more for the class I'm doing on December 10th. Otherwise, go to the remaining 9 that are paid for.
That's it. That's all I got!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
BEAT UP!
Not sure where I got the great idea to go for a couple of miles run before starting out my first kickboxing class... but 7pm after 2 miles, there I was. Waiting for my first kickboxing class. HOLY CRAP is all I have to say. I seriously do not know if I will be able to lift my arms up tomorrow to wash my hair.
This class was a little intense. Only me plus 2 other women. Then 3 guys who all work there, one was the owner. I was more expecting an aerobics type class... which was NOT what it was. I am SO sore right now!
The class ended like this. With your partner (mine worked there and was sort of "assigned" to me, to help me out), one (him) had on mitts. I had on sort of gloves with padding on the knuckles, but open fingers. I had to throw 50 jabs with my right. Then 50 with my left. Then 100 with my right, then 100 with my left. Then another 50 on each side. Stop, drop and do 25 push ups. THEN... do that all over again! And after the 2nd set of 25 push ups, switch. I had on the mitts while he threw all those punches. And trust me... that is no picnic either. My arm needs tension so he has something to punch at. For 200 punches on each side.
HOLY CRAP!
And that was the END of the class!
So 2 miles before that? What was I thinking???
This class was a little intense. Only me plus 2 other women. Then 3 guys who all work there, one was the owner. I was more expecting an aerobics type class... which was NOT what it was. I am SO sore right now!
The class ended like this. With your partner (mine worked there and was sort of "assigned" to me, to help me out), one (him) had on mitts. I had on sort of gloves with padding on the knuckles, but open fingers. I had to throw 50 jabs with my right. Then 50 with my left. Then 100 with my right, then 100 with my left. Then another 50 on each side. Stop, drop and do 25 push ups. THEN... do that all over again! And after the 2nd set of 25 push ups, switch. I had on the mitts while he threw all those punches. And trust me... that is no picnic either. My arm needs tension so he has something to punch at. For 200 punches on each side.
HOLY CRAP!
And that was the END of the class!
So 2 miles before that? What was I thinking???
Monday :(
Well the 4 day weekend is over. I'm on the sofa and need to be at work in 40 minutes. Can you tell I'm motivated to get going? SO hard to get back into the routine after days of just relaxing and not doing much of anything.
I realized last night what my problem was, why I was in a funk. I'm so used to going, going, going. When I stop and sit and do too much of nothing for too long, I get antsy. I'm pretty sure that was my problem. I spent way too much time just sitting on my sofa.
So last night I was online at my boyfriend's house... I had done some searching online before I went over for hotels that we could stay at to go away. Saturday night I said I wanted to go away for a weekend. We don't need to hop on a plane and head to Vegas.... somewhere we can drive to is fine by me, just away somewhere. SO... we decided on NH, up in the North Conway area. I found a place on Hotels.com for $150 a night for a 2 room suite with a whirlpool tub in the room, a fridge, coffee pot, indoor pool and nice fitness room. Sounds great to me!
I kept it up on his computer when I turned it off, so that window will pop up when he logs back on. Hotels.com had the room $30 less a night than the hotel's website WITH the AAA discount, so that was cool too. And we could ski one day too. I just want to go away and not have a rush to go anywhere or do anything.
But then I realized I need to find someone to feed my cats for the weekend. And THAT got me thinking about Christmas. I can't go up to my parents house on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, spend the night and all day Christmas, then go home Christmas night. SO I am going to have to sleep home on Christmas Eve so I can feed my cats!
I'm still working on what exactly we'll be doing over Christmas. I think I got the day planned but I need to figure out Christmas Eve and how we'll work that one. Getting there. :)
OK, I suppose that I need to get off my butt and start getting ready for work now. Oh well. Another week.
I realized last night what my problem was, why I was in a funk. I'm so used to going, going, going. When I stop and sit and do too much of nothing for too long, I get antsy. I'm pretty sure that was my problem. I spent way too much time just sitting on my sofa.
So last night I was online at my boyfriend's house... I had done some searching online before I went over for hotels that we could stay at to go away. Saturday night I said I wanted to go away for a weekend. We don't need to hop on a plane and head to Vegas.... somewhere we can drive to is fine by me, just away somewhere. SO... we decided on NH, up in the North Conway area. I found a place on Hotels.com for $150 a night for a 2 room suite with a whirlpool tub in the room, a fridge, coffee pot, indoor pool and nice fitness room. Sounds great to me!
I kept it up on his computer when I turned it off, so that window will pop up when he logs back on. Hotels.com had the room $30 less a night than the hotel's website WITH the AAA discount, so that was cool too. And we could ski one day too. I just want to go away and not have a rush to go anywhere or do anything.
But then I realized I need to find someone to feed my cats for the weekend. And THAT got me thinking about Christmas. I can't go up to my parents house on the afternoon of Christmas Eve, spend the night and all day Christmas, then go home Christmas night. SO I am going to have to sleep home on Christmas Eve so I can feed my cats!
I'm still working on what exactly we'll be doing over Christmas. I think I got the day planned but I need to figure out Christmas Eve and how we'll work that one. Getting there. :)
OK, I suppose that I need to get off my butt and start getting ready for work now. Oh well. Another week.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
I've been in a funk the past couple of days and I don't really know why. Yesterday I had a blast going out for lunch and getting a pedi with my friend Michelle. When I got home, I took a nap and just woke up in an edgy mood. It stuck with me all afternoon. I put on some fun music when I drove over to my boyfriend's house.
Between the music and my boyfriends good mood, I was finally able to shake it. Last night we had fun out at Patriot Place. Toby Keith's was mobbed because of the band that was playing there, so we went to CBS Scene instead. Unfortunately his salmon kabobs were completely raw, which he realized after eating at least 2 like that! He wasn't feeling great from then on.
We headed over to their outdoor skating rink and skated for a bit. That was fun. I haven't been on skates in about 15 years at least, plus the ice was HORRIBLE. It took a bit to get the hang of it, but we were flying around the rink, in and out of all the 12-15 year olds!
Here's a couple pictures of that....
After we got back to his house, he really wasn't feeling great. He kept thinking about the raw salmon he had for dinner. So he went to sleep on the sofa and I had the huge King sized bed to myself, where the dog eventually joined me. At some point during the night, my boyfriend came into bed with me.
We got up early this morning and after a quick Dunkin stop, we took Rocco for a walk. My boyfriend's house is across the street from a VERY old cemetery..... I mean, dates of death were in the 1800's! It's really cool in there with the old stones and family plots. We take Rocco for walks in there now and again.
While we were walking through, this cute little black dog came over.... by herself, without a leash. She had tags, her rabies shots and the town license info. But she was alone. We called the police, who said they would have the Animal Control call us back. I took Rocco home while my boyfriend was going to stay with this dog.
As I got to the front door, I saw the little dog leaving the cemetery, coming out onto the busy road. I quickly got Rocco inside and got the leash off of him. My boyfriend ran down after the little dog and put the leash on her. We brought her inside the front entryway of his house (its a 2 family and a big area inside the main door).
My boyfriend went up and got her a bowl of food and water. I stayed down there and hung out with her. She was SO cute! I was sitting on the stairs and she was next to me. She kept bumping my arm so I would pet her head. Super friendly and sweet dog.
My boyfriend ended up trying Animal Control. The owner had already reported that she got out. Animal Control was over in a couple of minutes. She was surprised the dog hadn't gotten hit and thanked us for taking her in and calling.
I took a couple of pictures of her while we were hanging out inside....
Seriously, how cute is she??? I just wanted to take her home!
After she was picked up, I left to head home and I've been home for a couple of hours now. I watched some tv, did a few things online and had something to eat.
But now I'm in a funk again. I'm not sure why I keep getting in these cranky, edgy moods, but I don't like it! I don't know why or what its about. Things are good. Financially, I'm ok. Friends are amazing and fun. Family is good, even after a holiday! I'm almost done with Christmas shopping. My house is clean. My boyfriend is incredible and our relationship is great. Everything is good. Better than good.
So why am I in a funk? Why am I cranky? What's up with me feeling like this? I feel worried, anxious, stressed. I have no reason to! Four days without work. Everything for once is great! And I'm just on edge.
I've been great at living in the moment and enjoying the good times. I haven't been edgy like this in a really long time. And things really have been great. But now? Its almost like something bad is about to happen. I don't know what. I don't know why I feel like this. I just feel really really off. And I don't like it!
I have to figure out how to snap out of this funk. I need to find something good to think about and get me back into that happy mindset I've had for a while. I love feeling like that. I love being that happy and positive. I need to get back there.
Between the music and my boyfriends good mood, I was finally able to shake it. Last night we had fun out at Patriot Place. Toby Keith's was mobbed because of the band that was playing there, so we went to CBS Scene instead. Unfortunately his salmon kabobs were completely raw, which he realized after eating at least 2 like that! He wasn't feeling great from then on.
We headed over to their outdoor skating rink and skated for a bit. That was fun. I haven't been on skates in about 15 years at least, plus the ice was HORRIBLE. It took a bit to get the hang of it, but we were flying around the rink, in and out of all the 12-15 year olds!
Here's a couple pictures of that....
After we got back to his house, he really wasn't feeling great. He kept thinking about the raw salmon he had for dinner. So he went to sleep on the sofa and I had the huge King sized bed to myself, where the dog eventually joined me. At some point during the night, my boyfriend came into bed with me.
We got up early this morning and after a quick Dunkin stop, we took Rocco for a walk. My boyfriend's house is across the street from a VERY old cemetery..... I mean, dates of death were in the 1800's! It's really cool in there with the old stones and family plots. We take Rocco for walks in there now and again.
While we were walking through, this cute little black dog came over.... by herself, without a leash. She had tags, her rabies shots and the town license info. But she was alone. We called the police, who said they would have the Animal Control call us back. I took Rocco home while my boyfriend was going to stay with this dog.
As I got to the front door, I saw the little dog leaving the cemetery, coming out onto the busy road. I quickly got Rocco inside and got the leash off of him. My boyfriend ran down after the little dog and put the leash on her. We brought her inside the front entryway of his house (its a 2 family and a big area inside the main door).
My boyfriend went up and got her a bowl of food and water. I stayed down there and hung out with her. She was SO cute! I was sitting on the stairs and she was next to me. She kept bumping my arm so I would pet her head. Super friendly and sweet dog.
My boyfriend ended up trying Animal Control. The owner had already reported that she got out. Animal Control was over in a couple of minutes. She was surprised the dog hadn't gotten hit and thanked us for taking her in and calling.
I took a couple of pictures of her while we were hanging out inside....
Seriously, how cute is she??? I just wanted to take her home!
After she was picked up, I left to head home and I've been home for a couple of hours now. I watched some tv, did a few things online and had something to eat.
But now I'm in a funk again. I'm not sure why I keep getting in these cranky, edgy moods, but I don't like it! I don't know why or what its about. Things are good. Financially, I'm ok. Friends are amazing and fun. Family is good, even after a holiday! I'm almost done with Christmas shopping. My house is clean. My boyfriend is incredible and our relationship is great. Everything is good. Better than good.
So why am I in a funk? Why am I cranky? What's up with me feeling like this? I feel worried, anxious, stressed. I have no reason to! Four days without work. Everything for once is great! And I'm just on edge.
I've been great at living in the moment and enjoying the good times. I haven't been edgy like this in a really long time. And things really have been great. But now? Its almost like something bad is about to happen. I don't know what. I don't know why I feel like this. I just feel really really off. And I don't like it!
I have to figure out how to snap out of this funk. I need to find something good to think about and get me back into that happy mindset I've had for a while. I love feeling like that. I love being that happy and positive. I need to get back there.
Friday, November 25, 2011
Thanksgiving Hangover
After a busy Thanksgiving Day and a busy start to today, I'm taking some time to rest and relax now.
Yesterday I was up at 6am and out the door before 7. It was just after 7 when I got to the HS for the 5K. It ended up being a group of 7 of us for the race. I was NOT feeling it. My back was sore, I got a side stitch and I was just tired and not trained. But it was still fun and I got a GREAT tech shirt for pre-registering.
On my way home I stopped a MOBBED Cummbies. But got the butter and flour that I had run out of on Wednesday night making the banana bread. When I got home before 9:30am, I figured I had plenty of time. My boyfriend wasn't leaving his house to get me until 12:30. Three hours was a ton of time. HA HA HA!
So I decided with all that extra time, I could get in more of a workout before the crazy double dinners. I grabbed my weights and did arms and shoulders, then did a crazy ab workout that left my abs BURNING. But I love that feeling!
After the workout, I headed to the kitchen where I had already measured almost everything to bake the cookies. At least starting wasn't bad. Then I grabbed the new hand held electric mixer. That broke. Before I was done. It started smoking! Good thing I saved the old one, even if I don't have the right attachments for baking (lost somehow). So I was already off.
And WOW did I make a TON of cookies! I brought 2-3 dozen to by boyfriend's parents and 2-3 dozen to my family and I STILL have at least another 2 dozen at my house. Good thing they taste REALLY good.
As the cookies were finishing up, I heated up my wax so I could do my eyebrows... cuz why not add more work when time is starting to cut close! Then hopped in the shower. I was starting to freak out between not wanting to be late to his mom's, not really knowing a whole lot of people there and being worried about being uncomfortable, and knowing traffic could be horrible.
We weren't too late for his mom's, and everyone of course was super nice and friendly. I really do like his family tons. His niece loved the bracelet that I got her. It was so cute. It was an Alex and Ani bracelet with a "K" charm on it. In her cute, little 3 year old squeaky voice, she was walking around saying, "Its K for Kailey". So cute!
After we left his mom's, we headed over to my grandfather's house. Come to find out, he has been in the hospital since Wednesday. The one uncle who took him sent an email to the other 3 boys. It was after 5 on Wednesday and 2 of the boys had it sent to their work email, including my dad. So when the other brother called my dad yesterday morning, that's when he found out his dad would be in the hospital until Friday or Saturday. Nice. Gotta love family sometimes. Oh well.
I think I got back to my house around 7:30 last night. I was home relaxing for a bit then went back over to my boyfriends house. We just watched a movie and went to bed early. Got a REALLY good night sleep last night though, which was GREAT!
We were up around 8 I think and I was home before 9. I had a cup of coffee then just found crazy motivation and cleaned, SCRUBBED my house. The only thing that isn't done is the tub in the bathroom and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. I sweep, vacuumed, did dishes, counters, dusted, organized SO much crap and even went through my bills and what's posted and whats due.
For the past hour, my butts been back on the sofa. Email is now cleared out. Skimmed over facebook. Checked out a few other websites. Made the phone calls I needed to make. The gym doesn't have any mid day classes today. Originally I was thinking of swimming laps, but I'm pretty sure the pool is only open for 2 more hours at this point. Plus, my back is REALLY sore between yesterday's race and cleaning all morning. Not sure if swimming would be a great idea for me right now.
Now just waiting to see what's going on for tonight. My boyfriend is at his gym taking a class. His mom invited us to her house for leftovers. She said she does Thanksgiving dinner at her house, then has everyone back over on Friday night every year to eat the rest of the food. I think that's a great idea. Not sure if my boyfriends wants to go.... between too much family time and the crazy restrictive diet he's been on for a few weeks. But I think it would be nice. Plus, it would give me a better chance to get to know his family.
And that's what I want to do. I want to get to know them. I love him and I know we're going to be together for a long time to come. I want to get to know his family. I want them to know me. It can be really hard for me to open up to people sometimes and feel comfortable in groups that I don't know. Spending more time around them will help. So yeah, I want to go to his mom's tonight. But we'll see.
And now?? Hmm.. not sure what I want to do. Shopping? Read magazines I'm behind on? Watch some of my tv shows I'm behind on? Nap? Go for a walk or something? I have hours and hours to do whatever I want! Then I have 2 more days too! YAY! Tomorrow I MIGHT go to an early kickboxing class... if I can get them on the phone. Then I'm meeting my friend Michelle for lunch at 1pm with pedi's to follow. Sunday the Pats game is on at 4:15. That's all I have planned for the next couple of days...well, tomorrow night I'll be out with my boyfriend doing something.
But nice to just have time to RELAX! Ahhh.....
Yesterday I was up at 6am and out the door before 7. It was just after 7 when I got to the HS for the 5K. It ended up being a group of 7 of us for the race. I was NOT feeling it. My back was sore, I got a side stitch and I was just tired and not trained. But it was still fun and I got a GREAT tech shirt for pre-registering.
On my way home I stopped a MOBBED Cummbies. But got the butter and flour that I had run out of on Wednesday night making the banana bread. When I got home before 9:30am, I figured I had plenty of time. My boyfriend wasn't leaving his house to get me until 12:30. Three hours was a ton of time. HA HA HA!
So I decided with all that extra time, I could get in more of a workout before the crazy double dinners. I grabbed my weights and did arms and shoulders, then did a crazy ab workout that left my abs BURNING. But I love that feeling!
After the workout, I headed to the kitchen where I had already measured almost everything to bake the cookies. At least starting wasn't bad. Then I grabbed the new hand held electric mixer. That broke. Before I was done. It started smoking! Good thing I saved the old one, even if I don't have the right attachments for baking (lost somehow). So I was already off.
And WOW did I make a TON of cookies! I brought 2-3 dozen to by boyfriend's parents and 2-3 dozen to my family and I STILL have at least another 2 dozen at my house. Good thing they taste REALLY good.
As the cookies were finishing up, I heated up my wax so I could do my eyebrows... cuz why not add more work when time is starting to cut close! Then hopped in the shower. I was starting to freak out between not wanting to be late to his mom's, not really knowing a whole lot of people there and being worried about being uncomfortable, and knowing traffic could be horrible.
We weren't too late for his mom's, and everyone of course was super nice and friendly. I really do like his family tons. His niece loved the bracelet that I got her. It was so cute. It was an Alex and Ani bracelet with a "K" charm on it. In her cute, little 3 year old squeaky voice, she was walking around saying, "Its K for Kailey". So cute!
After we left his mom's, we headed over to my grandfather's house. Come to find out, he has been in the hospital since Wednesday. The one uncle who took him sent an email to the other 3 boys. It was after 5 on Wednesday and 2 of the boys had it sent to their work email, including my dad. So when the other brother called my dad yesterday morning, that's when he found out his dad would be in the hospital until Friday or Saturday. Nice. Gotta love family sometimes. Oh well.
I think I got back to my house around 7:30 last night. I was home relaxing for a bit then went back over to my boyfriends house. We just watched a movie and went to bed early. Got a REALLY good night sleep last night though, which was GREAT!
We were up around 8 I think and I was home before 9. I had a cup of coffee then just found crazy motivation and cleaned, SCRUBBED my house. The only thing that isn't done is the tub in the bathroom and mopping the kitchen and bathroom. I sweep, vacuumed, did dishes, counters, dusted, organized SO much crap and even went through my bills and what's posted and whats due.
For the past hour, my butts been back on the sofa. Email is now cleared out. Skimmed over facebook. Checked out a few other websites. Made the phone calls I needed to make. The gym doesn't have any mid day classes today. Originally I was thinking of swimming laps, but I'm pretty sure the pool is only open for 2 more hours at this point. Plus, my back is REALLY sore between yesterday's race and cleaning all morning. Not sure if swimming would be a great idea for me right now.
Now just waiting to see what's going on for tonight. My boyfriend is at his gym taking a class. His mom invited us to her house for leftovers. She said she does Thanksgiving dinner at her house, then has everyone back over on Friday night every year to eat the rest of the food. I think that's a great idea. Not sure if my boyfriends wants to go.... between too much family time and the crazy restrictive diet he's been on for a few weeks. But I think it would be nice. Plus, it would give me a better chance to get to know his family.
And that's what I want to do. I want to get to know them. I love him and I know we're going to be together for a long time to come. I want to get to know his family. I want them to know me. It can be really hard for me to open up to people sometimes and feel comfortable in groups that I don't know. Spending more time around them will help. So yeah, I want to go to his mom's tonight. But we'll see.
And now?? Hmm.. not sure what I want to do. Shopping? Read magazines I'm behind on? Watch some of my tv shows I'm behind on? Nap? Go for a walk or something? I have hours and hours to do whatever I want! Then I have 2 more days too! YAY! Tomorrow I MIGHT go to an early kickboxing class... if I can get them on the phone. Then I'm meeting my friend Michelle for lunch at 1pm with pedi's to follow. Sunday the Pats game is on at 4:15. That's all I have planned for the next couple of days...well, tomorrow night I'll be out with my boyfriend doing something.
But nice to just have time to RELAX! Ahhh.....
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
It wasn't too bad of a day at work today, which was good. Plus we got out at 3 which was even BETTER! :) I flew home, started cleaning and made LOTS of progress. Right now I just have the tub and floors/carpets left.
Then I headed over to my boyfriends house, tossed my laundry in the washer and we went out for dinner. We were going to work out when we got back to his house after I threw my stuff in the dryer, but I started rubbing his shoulders and that just turned into this LONG massage! Seriously, I think I gave him a massage for maybe 30-45 minutes... his neck, shoulders, back and the back of his legs.
But he gave me a massage too after. Not for 30+ minutes, but that's ok. It still felt great.
Then I folded up my laundry and headed home. Ooops. Just remembered that I left my laundry basket of folded clothes on my kitchen table. Oh well.
I ended up making the 2 loaves of my banana bread to bring with me tomorrow. My house smells AMAZING right now. I am so bummed that I didn't make more to keep some at home. It smells SO good!
Tomorrow is going to be INSANE. Up at the crack of dawn and leave my house by 6:45am. Registration starts at 7am for the 5K and I have to greet our 10 runners & walkers. Walkers leave at 7:45 and runners start at 8. I hope to be out of there by 9 and in my kitchen by 9:30.
Unfortunately when I made the banana bread, I realized I need more butter and flour. So I'll have to stop at a store on my way home from the 5K... but any convenient store will do. I have all the other ingredients out, measured and ready to go for my chocolate chip cookies. And the Hersey kisses I put in the middle are ready and unwrapped too. At least that will be a little less I need to do tomorrow. It should save me at least 10-15 minutes with everything I did tonight to prep.
After I finish baking the cookies, it'll be time to hop in the shower and get ready. My boyfriend is picking me up at... HA HA good question. Originally is was 12:30. Tonight he said later, so I really have no idea. I told him he should leave his house NO LATER than 12:30, so even with traffic we can get to his parent's house on time and not be late for the 1:30 dinner.
From there... we'll head over to my grandfather's house where my family is having dinner. My dad said that dinner there is at 3:30, which means 4 or 4:30. They are NEVER on time! So I think we should be ok if we leave my boyfriend's parent's house by 4:30. I don't want my family to wait for me for dinner, since we'll eat at his parents but I do want to eat some of my dad's butternut squash! SO yummy!
Then we'll have dessert and head back to my house. And then? I will CRASH! I'm on the fence still about if I am going to go shopping or not. MAYBE. Good sales, but really? 2am to hit a store? Extra sales in the 1am-4am area... so again, MAYBE! :)
Already 11pm. I'm tired. I suppose I should go to bed. Obviously tomorrow is going to be a LONG day.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Then I headed over to my boyfriends house, tossed my laundry in the washer and we went out for dinner. We were going to work out when we got back to his house after I threw my stuff in the dryer, but I started rubbing his shoulders and that just turned into this LONG massage! Seriously, I think I gave him a massage for maybe 30-45 minutes... his neck, shoulders, back and the back of his legs.
But he gave me a massage too after. Not for 30+ minutes, but that's ok. It still felt great.
Then I folded up my laundry and headed home. Ooops. Just remembered that I left my laundry basket of folded clothes on my kitchen table. Oh well.
I ended up making the 2 loaves of my banana bread to bring with me tomorrow. My house smells AMAZING right now. I am so bummed that I didn't make more to keep some at home. It smells SO good!
Tomorrow is going to be INSANE. Up at the crack of dawn and leave my house by 6:45am. Registration starts at 7am for the 5K and I have to greet our 10 runners & walkers. Walkers leave at 7:45 and runners start at 8. I hope to be out of there by 9 and in my kitchen by 9:30.
Unfortunately when I made the banana bread, I realized I need more butter and flour. So I'll have to stop at a store on my way home from the 5K... but any convenient store will do. I have all the other ingredients out, measured and ready to go for my chocolate chip cookies. And the Hersey kisses I put in the middle are ready and unwrapped too. At least that will be a little less I need to do tomorrow. It should save me at least 10-15 minutes with everything I did tonight to prep.
After I finish baking the cookies, it'll be time to hop in the shower and get ready. My boyfriend is picking me up at... HA HA good question. Originally is was 12:30. Tonight he said later, so I really have no idea. I told him he should leave his house NO LATER than 12:30, so even with traffic we can get to his parent's house on time and not be late for the 1:30 dinner.
From there... we'll head over to my grandfather's house where my family is having dinner. My dad said that dinner there is at 3:30, which means 4 or 4:30. They are NEVER on time! So I think we should be ok if we leave my boyfriend's parent's house by 4:30. I don't want my family to wait for me for dinner, since we'll eat at his parents but I do want to eat some of my dad's butternut squash! SO yummy!
Then we'll have dessert and head back to my house. And then? I will CRASH! I'm on the fence still about if I am going to go shopping or not. MAYBE. Good sales, but really? 2am to hit a store? Extra sales in the 1am-4am area... so again, MAYBE! :)
Already 11pm. I'm tired. I suppose I should go to bed. Obviously tomorrow is going to be a LONG day.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Last day of work before Thanksgiving. I had the rushing around this week, as much as I love Thanksgiving. This is one of my top holidays. Not about shopping, or gifts or anything except family and food. Its just about the meal.
I still have to write out everything I want to do between now and when I have to leave my house tomorrow. LOTS I need to cover. Bake cookies and banana bread, clean the house, do laundry.... tomorrow morning I'm running in a 5K again too for the 3rd year in a row. Too much rushing around.
Still on the fence about Black Friday. I am pretty much done with my retail shopping. I have an online gift to order, some gift certificates and booze left. BUT, there are things I want for ME! And Kohl's is having HUGE sales, on top of the $5 coupon, 15% off coupon, and $15 Kohl's cash for every $50. And they open at 1am around here. I'm thinking I might pop by around 2 or 3am. I figure the die-hards are done then and the rest might not be there. We'll see how I feel then.
What else??
Not too much. Hoping to get out of work today at 3pm to get a jump start. I've been blowing off working out, so I'd love to get that in tonight. No more yoga class until mid January, but that means I can switch swimming to Tuesday nights and make it to Pilates at 6:30 on Thursday nights (SO much easier than the 5:30 Tuesday class!). And the kickboxing Groupon I have, I need to start that NOW.... their website doesn't list class times and I couldn't get anyone on the phone yesterday but it did say that they have morning classes now, so that's cool.
I just need to get my butt in gear with everything. Fund raising, training, getting registered for my fitness instructor classes. URGH! LOTS to do! :)
And it starts with getting to work today and maybe even getting there early... so time to log off of here and get moving!
I still have to write out everything I want to do between now and when I have to leave my house tomorrow. LOTS I need to cover. Bake cookies and banana bread, clean the house, do laundry.... tomorrow morning I'm running in a 5K again too for the 3rd year in a row. Too much rushing around.
Still on the fence about Black Friday. I am pretty much done with my retail shopping. I have an online gift to order, some gift certificates and booze left. BUT, there are things I want for ME! And Kohl's is having HUGE sales, on top of the $5 coupon, 15% off coupon, and $15 Kohl's cash for every $50. And they open at 1am around here. I'm thinking I might pop by around 2 or 3am. I figure the die-hards are done then and the rest might not be there. We'll see how I feel then.
What else??
Not too much. Hoping to get out of work today at 3pm to get a jump start. I've been blowing off working out, so I'd love to get that in tonight. No more yoga class until mid January, but that means I can switch swimming to Tuesday nights and make it to Pilates at 6:30 on Thursday nights (SO much easier than the 5:30 Tuesday class!). And the kickboxing Groupon I have, I need to start that NOW.... their website doesn't list class times and I couldn't get anyone on the phone yesterday but it did say that they have morning classes now, so that's cool.
I just need to get my butt in gear with everything. Fund raising, training, getting registered for my fitness instructor classes. URGH! LOTS to do! :)
And it starts with getting to work today and maybe even getting there early... so time to log off of here and get moving!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
So late right now... should already be in the shower instead of on the sofa drinking my coffee. At least I know what I want to wear today. That's have the battle.
Been an interesting week so far. Lots on my mind. But another great conversation last night really made a big difference for me. I had worries and concerns and fears. They have all been calmed. I still have some concerns. I'm still not 100% comfortable with everything, but I really feel much better.
I heard one thing that stood out from the rest last night.... I made my decision. Those 4 words and the 6 more that followed were the ones that stood out above anything else that was said.
I'm still a little nervous and a little uncomfortable. I can't say this won't go away and won't stay in the back of my mind, but after this conversation, I feel better. I am more comfortable than I was and I'm glad I spoke up and said something rather than letting it sit and fester.
I'm happy. I'm in love. I'm with someone amazing who is just such a great fit for me. No one person is perfect, but I really do think I found the absolute perfect person for me. I've never had this before in my life and I just don't want to lose it.
Ok... really time to get in the shower. Need to be at work in 24 minutes! HA HA HA!!!
Been an interesting week so far. Lots on my mind. But another great conversation last night really made a big difference for me. I had worries and concerns and fears. They have all been calmed. I still have some concerns. I'm still not 100% comfortable with everything, but I really feel much better.
I heard one thing that stood out from the rest last night.... I made my decision. Those 4 words and the 6 more that followed were the ones that stood out above anything else that was said.
I'm still a little nervous and a little uncomfortable. I can't say this won't go away and won't stay in the back of my mind, but after this conversation, I feel better. I am more comfortable than I was and I'm glad I spoke up and said something rather than letting it sit and fester.
I'm happy. I'm in love. I'm with someone amazing who is just such a great fit for me. No one person is perfect, but I really do think I found the absolute perfect person for me. I've never had this before in my life and I just don't want to lose it.
Ok... really time to get in the shower. Need to be at work in 24 minutes! HA HA HA!!!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Heart to Heart
Besides just writing here, I have a journal that I write in at home. I don't always write in that, but sometimes when things are weighing heavier on my mind or if there are more personal details I need to work out in my head, sometimes it helps to get things like that out on paper.
I had been writing earlier this month about a few things weighing on me. Yesterday I wrote again, pages and pages. I wrote about all how I had resolved things that I had been struggling with and how great everything was and how happy I was. And then I wrote out a huge list of everything that was thankful for- with Thanksgiving in a few days.
Last night I was out with my boyfriend. Today I feel closer to him than I have before, ever. But it wasn't like that the whole night. When he said, "We have to talk", my mind started racing. I thought immediately that he was breaking up with me and ending our relationship. I thought about everything I wrote earlier in the day; how much I loved him, how happy I was with him, how great I thought our relationship was. When he said those awful, awful words to start a conversation, my heart sank. I was crushed.
But he didn't want to break up with me. He really did want to talk. Something deep, personal and something he had weighing on his mind. Something that had been bothering him and he wanted to share that with me.
It wasn't exactly an easy conversation, what one would be that starts with "We have to talk"? And I won't lie, tears were involved. I love him. I was scared of losing him.
This conversation, as tough as it was, as emotional and difficult and raw as it was.... it was something that needed to happen. It was the elephant in the room for him. He always knew this was there, but never talked about it to me. For me... I knew it was something, but I didn't know about that specific elephant he had around him.
But now I know. We had a deep, close, personal, heart to heart conversation. We were open and honest and respectful of each other. I love him even more now. I feel even closer to him now. Our relationship feels even better now. The way we were this morning together, it felt different, better, closer.
I have something great with him. I have never in my life had a relationship like this or felt like this. I love what we have together, how we just click and fit. Everything is easy and fun. We don't have drama. We don't have BS. There is nothing fake or censored. We are each other, real, open and we connect. We connect like I have never connected with anyone.
Am I still scared of losing him? Hell yeah! He makes it very easy for me to be comfortable and not feel any insecurities. I know that he loves me and that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. I trust him with everything in me. I love him. I just completely and deeply love him.
This heart to heart brought us closer. It addressed things that needed to be said. It scared me. It had tears in my eyes. It had me clinging to him, not letting him out of my arms. But it was still a really good thing.
I have absolutely no idea what my future in life holds. I never do. I let the current take me where it leads and have learned to trust that it brings me where I should be, when I need to be there. It is when I fight the current and try to swim against it that I feel the struggles of life, the fight, the push. So here, with him, I am going to continue to let the current take me. I am choosing to let that happen and not fight anything. I am choosing to trust that I will be where I need to be, when I need to be there, wherever and whenever that is.
And with my conversation with him, I feel like he is trusting in that current too, taking that ride with me, not fighting it. He is trusting in it, going with it, riding these amazing waves right along with me. My hope is that this current continues as it is. We have great waves right now. I know that at some times, rapid will hit and it will become more difficult to stay with the current and even harder to trust in it. It is most important to relax and trust at those times, more than others. Fighting the current then can be not only exhausting, but dangerous.
I also hope that when those rapids hit and it is hard to trust in the current, that it keeps him and I together as the water flows along. There can be splits in the river. I want us to stay on the same path together. I don't want the rapids to push us and send us off down different paths, different rivers. That is what scares me most.
But right now I am trusting and believing. I know this is where I am supposed to be right now. No where else. I know that all of my past experiences, good and bad, have brought me to this place, right now. I wouldn't change my past. That would change me, my life, and my full experiences. No, looking back, I would stay on the same river I was on, going with that current, hitting all of the crazy rapids I went through.
Right now, I am happy. I have amazing relationships in my life and huge opportunities opening themselves up to me. I trust that this river, that the universe or whatever it is... I trust that I will continue to have all that is supposed to have come to me. I know there are lessons in life that need to be learned. You need to learn those before moving forward. Without learning a lesson, you won't have the ability to handle future experiences. I have learned some tough lessons. But they all brought me to right here and right now.
Things are great in my life.
Even with this very difficult heart to heart, "We need to talk" conversation, I am happy. I love my boyfriend with everything I have. I know he loves me. How I describe him and I just clicking and connecting... he describes it like 2 puzzle pieces that just fit perfect together. That is what he thinks of our relationship. We just fit perfect together. We do. He's right. This is an amazing thing.
Whatever the future holds for me, right now I know I am in the perfect place for me. I have never had such an incredible relationship or love in my life. If for whatever reason this isn't for forever, it is at least for now. And for now, I will love and cherish and live in every single moment of it.
He is an amazing person. I am so lucky to have him in my life and so happy that I met him and have experienced all of this. Whatever happens, I do love him. And more importantly, I want him to happy. If that is with me or if that is not with me... I want him to happy. I love him enough to want that above anything & everything else.
That scares the absolute hell out of me... that him being happy might not be with him in my life. But I want that for him. I hope it IS with me. But if it isn't, as horrible, heartbreaking and as much as it would just SUCK, I still want him to be happy first.
Wasn't really planning to write all of this, but here it is. All out there. We talked. We had a heart to heart. I thought he was ending it with me. He didn't. I know I love him. I know he loves me. I trust him with all of my heart. I feel closer to him now than I did before and I think he feels the same way. And I am absolutely terrified that in the end he could be happy without us together. But that is not today. Today, we are in love and we are happy together. And I live in today and I love in today. With him.
I had been writing earlier this month about a few things weighing on me. Yesterday I wrote again, pages and pages. I wrote about all how I had resolved things that I had been struggling with and how great everything was and how happy I was. And then I wrote out a huge list of everything that was thankful for- with Thanksgiving in a few days.
Last night I was out with my boyfriend. Today I feel closer to him than I have before, ever. But it wasn't like that the whole night. When he said, "We have to talk", my mind started racing. I thought immediately that he was breaking up with me and ending our relationship. I thought about everything I wrote earlier in the day; how much I loved him, how happy I was with him, how great I thought our relationship was. When he said those awful, awful words to start a conversation, my heart sank. I was crushed.
But he didn't want to break up with me. He really did want to talk. Something deep, personal and something he had weighing on his mind. Something that had been bothering him and he wanted to share that with me.
It wasn't exactly an easy conversation, what one would be that starts with "We have to talk"? And I won't lie, tears were involved. I love him. I was scared of losing him.
This conversation, as tough as it was, as emotional and difficult and raw as it was.... it was something that needed to happen. It was the elephant in the room for him. He always knew this was there, but never talked about it to me. For me... I knew it was something, but I didn't know about that specific elephant he had around him.
But now I know. We had a deep, close, personal, heart to heart conversation. We were open and honest and respectful of each other. I love him even more now. I feel even closer to him now. Our relationship feels even better now. The way we were this morning together, it felt different, better, closer.
I have something great with him. I have never in my life had a relationship like this or felt like this. I love what we have together, how we just click and fit. Everything is easy and fun. We don't have drama. We don't have BS. There is nothing fake or censored. We are each other, real, open and we connect. We connect like I have never connected with anyone.
Am I still scared of losing him? Hell yeah! He makes it very easy for me to be comfortable and not feel any insecurities. I know that he loves me and that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. I trust him with everything in me. I love him. I just completely and deeply love him.
This heart to heart brought us closer. It addressed things that needed to be said. It scared me. It had tears in my eyes. It had me clinging to him, not letting him out of my arms. But it was still a really good thing.
I have absolutely no idea what my future in life holds. I never do. I let the current take me where it leads and have learned to trust that it brings me where I should be, when I need to be there. It is when I fight the current and try to swim against it that I feel the struggles of life, the fight, the push. So here, with him, I am going to continue to let the current take me. I am choosing to let that happen and not fight anything. I am choosing to trust that I will be where I need to be, when I need to be there, wherever and whenever that is.
And with my conversation with him, I feel like he is trusting in that current too, taking that ride with me, not fighting it. He is trusting in it, going with it, riding these amazing waves right along with me. My hope is that this current continues as it is. We have great waves right now. I know that at some times, rapid will hit and it will become more difficult to stay with the current and even harder to trust in it. It is most important to relax and trust at those times, more than others. Fighting the current then can be not only exhausting, but dangerous.
I also hope that when those rapids hit and it is hard to trust in the current, that it keeps him and I together as the water flows along. There can be splits in the river. I want us to stay on the same path together. I don't want the rapids to push us and send us off down different paths, different rivers. That is what scares me most.
But right now I am trusting and believing. I know this is where I am supposed to be right now. No where else. I know that all of my past experiences, good and bad, have brought me to this place, right now. I wouldn't change my past. That would change me, my life, and my full experiences. No, looking back, I would stay on the same river I was on, going with that current, hitting all of the crazy rapids I went through.
Right now, I am happy. I have amazing relationships in my life and huge opportunities opening themselves up to me. I trust that this river, that the universe or whatever it is... I trust that I will continue to have all that is supposed to have come to me. I know there are lessons in life that need to be learned. You need to learn those before moving forward. Without learning a lesson, you won't have the ability to handle future experiences. I have learned some tough lessons. But they all brought me to right here and right now.
Things are great in my life.
Even with this very difficult heart to heart, "We need to talk" conversation, I am happy. I love my boyfriend with everything I have. I know he loves me. How I describe him and I just clicking and connecting... he describes it like 2 puzzle pieces that just fit perfect together. That is what he thinks of our relationship. We just fit perfect together. We do. He's right. This is an amazing thing.
Whatever the future holds for me, right now I know I am in the perfect place for me. I have never had such an incredible relationship or love in my life. If for whatever reason this isn't for forever, it is at least for now. And for now, I will love and cherish and live in every single moment of it.
He is an amazing person. I am so lucky to have him in my life and so happy that I met him and have experienced all of this. Whatever happens, I do love him. And more importantly, I want him to happy. If that is with me or if that is not with me... I want him to happy. I love him enough to want that above anything & everything else.
That scares the absolute hell out of me... that him being happy might not be with him in my life. But I want that for him. I hope it IS with me. But if it isn't, as horrible, heartbreaking and as much as it would just SUCK, I still want him to be happy first.
Wasn't really planning to write all of this, but here it is. All out there. We talked. We had a heart to heart. I thought he was ending it with me. He didn't. I know I love him. I know he loves me. I trust him with all of my heart. I feel closer to him now than I did before and I think he feels the same way. And I am absolutely terrified that in the end he could be happy without us together. But that is not today. Today, we are in love and we are happy together. And I live in today and I love in today. With him.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
So much for swimming tonight! The pool was SO crowded, we couldn't get a spot. Jill was already in the pool and I was working up to diving in, when she suggested that we go to a diner down the street. Then I suggested the Mexican place around the corner, so Mexican and Margarita's it was instead of swimming laps! :) All in all... a good night!
Been a VERY long week. A long week sandwiched between 2 short weeks. NOT fun. And that's even with staying home on Tuesday and sleeping past noon time. I'm just exhausted right now. BUT, after going out with the girls on Friday night, I will be sleeping home and sleeping in on Saturday morning. That should help.
REALLY looking forward to getting back into the pool tonight. Swimming at 7 with a friend of mine. The fitness group had 7 people going as of yesterday. Now its down to me, Jill and one guy who never ever shows up... so basically just going swimming tonight with Jill.
My ear infection took forever to go away, but it is finally gone and I got ear plugs too, so I'm hoping that swimming will now work for me. I am SO sick of getting ear infections.
Plus swimming tonight will really help for me to get back into my training schedule. I have really been slacking with that. My back has been bothering me and it has been really hard to find the motivation to get me where I should be. This time last year I was doing 5 miles a couple times a week. Now? Yeah! That's funny!
Considering I plan on doing the marathon again, I really REALLY need to start my training again. Disappointed that I'm not where I want to be. But like said... swimming tonight will help. Then tomorrow night for girls night, so dancing for hours. Then Saturday I want to get in a run and Sunday morning I want to swim again. Next week I have running on Monday night and Pilates and yoga on Tuesday night. Wednesday, I'm not sure yet. I'll probably be getting out of work around 3, but the pool is closed 3-7. I don't know if it will be open on Wednesday night or not, or even if I will want to go. Thursday, Thanksgiving morning, I am running in a 5K. Friday I'll have to find something, maybe swim, and Saturday do a long run. I might start up my kickboxing next Wednesday night too... then have that on Saturday morning.
Yes, I do too much, I know that. But I love it. I love being busy and I love being active. I know I need some downtime to re-group now and again, or it will just catch up with me. For the most part, I do recognize that. As long as I am eating right and sleeping well, then I should be alright.
Sleeping... ha ha! That's a good one. I absolutely LOVE falling asleep in my boyfriends arms. I love when during the night, he puts his arms around me and pulls me close to him. I love it. But sometimes? I just can't sleep well there. I am a really light sleeper. If I get too hot, I wake up. If I hear noise, I wake up. If something moves around me, I wake up. A king sized bed is great, but sometimes I wake up throughout the night and don't end up with a good night sleep.
Right now, since my back has been bothering me, it has been worse. I can't always get comfortable and pressure the wrong way can end up hurting and bothering me. So having my boyfriend wrap me up? I LOVE it so much... but if weight from his arm or leg, or any pressure having me twist in a different direction can end up bothering my back and making it more sore, and then harder to sleep overall.
And it SUCKS. I absolutely love laying in bed or on the sofa with him, all tucked up in him. It is my absolute favorite way to lay! Last night on the sofa, we were laying there and the dog too. I was basically on the edge of the sofa. MY GOD, my back was killing me all night and is STILL bothering me. Not sure if that was it, or sleeping or what, but the right side of my lower back is not good.
I think that it was starting again in general with running. Then the massage made it worse. And by last night on the sofa, the way I was laying and twisting and the pressure on my lower back... just made me way more uncomfortable all night. I didn't sleep well last night and couldn't get my back comfortable all night.
I think I need to just start taking the anti-inflammatory meds again. Maybe that will help.
Ok... been rambling on and on and on long enough. Time to get moving so I can change and pack my bag and not keep Jill waiting!
REALLY looking forward to getting back into the pool tonight. Swimming at 7 with a friend of mine. The fitness group had 7 people going as of yesterday. Now its down to me, Jill and one guy who never ever shows up... so basically just going swimming tonight with Jill.
My ear infection took forever to go away, but it is finally gone and I got ear plugs too, so I'm hoping that swimming will now work for me. I am SO sick of getting ear infections.
Plus swimming tonight will really help for me to get back into my training schedule. I have really been slacking with that. My back has been bothering me and it has been really hard to find the motivation to get me where I should be. This time last year I was doing 5 miles a couple times a week. Now? Yeah! That's funny!
Considering I plan on doing the marathon again, I really REALLY need to start my training again. Disappointed that I'm not where I want to be. But like said... swimming tonight will help. Then tomorrow night for girls night, so dancing for hours. Then Saturday I want to get in a run and Sunday morning I want to swim again. Next week I have running on Monday night and Pilates and yoga on Tuesday night. Wednesday, I'm not sure yet. I'll probably be getting out of work around 3, but the pool is closed 3-7. I don't know if it will be open on Wednesday night or not, or even if I will want to go. Thursday, Thanksgiving morning, I am running in a 5K. Friday I'll have to find something, maybe swim, and Saturday do a long run. I might start up my kickboxing next Wednesday night too... then have that on Saturday morning.
Yes, I do too much, I know that. But I love it. I love being busy and I love being active. I know I need some downtime to re-group now and again, or it will just catch up with me. For the most part, I do recognize that. As long as I am eating right and sleeping well, then I should be alright.
Sleeping... ha ha! That's a good one. I absolutely LOVE falling asleep in my boyfriends arms. I love when during the night, he puts his arms around me and pulls me close to him. I love it. But sometimes? I just can't sleep well there. I am a really light sleeper. If I get too hot, I wake up. If I hear noise, I wake up. If something moves around me, I wake up. A king sized bed is great, but sometimes I wake up throughout the night and don't end up with a good night sleep.
Right now, since my back has been bothering me, it has been worse. I can't always get comfortable and pressure the wrong way can end up hurting and bothering me. So having my boyfriend wrap me up? I LOVE it so much... but if weight from his arm or leg, or any pressure having me twist in a different direction can end up bothering my back and making it more sore, and then harder to sleep overall.
And it SUCKS. I absolutely love laying in bed or on the sofa with him, all tucked up in him. It is my absolute favorite way to lay! Last night on the sofa, we were laying there and the dog too. I was basically on the edge of the sofa. MY GOD, my back was killing me all night and is STILL bothering me. Not sure if that was it, or sleeping or what, but the right side of my lower back is not good.
I think that it was starting again in general with running. Then the massage made it worse. And by last night on the sofa, the way I was laying and twisting and the pressure on my lower back... just made me way more uncomfortable all night. I didn't sleep well last night and couldn't get my back comfortable all night.
I think I need to just start taking the anti-inflammatory meds again. Maybe that will help.
Ok... been rambling on and on and on long enough. Time to get moving so I can change and pack my bag and not keep Jill waiting!
Time to get my butt in gear. Already going to be late for work at this point, and here I am on the sofa, typing away!
Things are good. FINALLY heard about Thanksgiving. Dinner at my grandfather's. Per Dad, my boyfriend is invited too. When I mentioned that, the boyfriend said he thought I was going with him. LOL! Yeah, we never chatting about Thanksgiving. But timing wise, I think we can hit both. So that will work out nicely. And that's AFTER my 5K that morning.
Swimming tonight after work, plus girls night tomorrow. YAY!
OK... really need to move. Maybe I will have more to say later. :)
Things are good. FINALLY heard about Thanksgiving. Dinner at my grandfather's. Per Dad, my boyfriend is invited too. When I mentioned that, the boyfriend said he thought I was going with him. LOL! Yeah, we never chatting about Thanksgiving. But timing wise, I think we can hit both. So that will work out nicely. And that's AFTER my 5K that morning.
Swimming tonight after work, plus girls night tomorrow. YAY!
OK... really need to move. Maybe I will have more to say later. :)
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Been a weird week so far. Monday I was completely exhausted and just wiped out. I crashed hard on Monday night and didn't go to work on Tuesday. I woke up at 8 to text my boss, then we back to bed. I woke up at 12:13! I cant' believe I slept that late! Guess I really did need it.
I was in my PJ's yesterday under I got in the shower at 8:30. It was very much needed. I'm still tired, but not to the level I was yesterday. I'm hoping for a good day today. Considering I couldn't log into my work email from my new laptop, I know I'll have a ton of emails and voicemails, so work will be BUSY today.
I should really get my butt in gear and move to start getting ready for work. Won't take me long, but still... sitting on the sofa, when I want to leave in 15 minutes is not the best thing. :)
Still trying to stay positive with everything but I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I think just being this tired and this wiped out, it has been taking its toll on me. I'm still exhausted.
I was in my PJ's yesterday under I got in the shower at 8:30. It was very much needed. I'm still tired, but not to the level I was yesterday. I'm hoping for a good day today. Considering I couldn't log into my work email from my new laptop, I know I'll have a ton of emails and voicemails, so work will be BUSY today.
I should really get my butt in gear and move to start getting ready for work. Won't take me long, but still... sitting on the sofa, when I want to leave in 15 minutes is not the best thing. :)
Still trying to stay positive with everything but I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I think just being this tired and this wiped out, it has been taking its toll on me. I'm still exhausted.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
SUNDAY!
This has really been a great weekend. Friday was just so relaxing with the massage and everything. Then YAY! Buying a new laptop that night! SO happy about having this now. Makes the absolutely biggest difference!
Yesterday was a little running around, bank, mom's, the vet for more cat food (gotta love $50 for a 10 pound bag of cat food!).
Last night I went out for dinner with the boyfriend, then into Boston, to Newbury. I ended up getting the 4 bracelets I wanted for Christmas gifts, plus one for me. Then they had a special that for every $50, you could pick from month bracelets or initial bracelets for $16 each. So I got one "J" for me and a "K" for the boyfriends niece. But I love the 2 that I have now for me, plus... four more Christmas gifts DONE! The list is looking good.
Got some sports stuff for my brother and cousin, gift certificates for my parents and aunt and uncle, my boyfriends gift, work stuff, then the 4 scarfs. I think that's about it. So all and all, doing REALLY well for Christmas! :)
Today is a 5K. Getting picked up in about an hour to head to that. Not super motivated for me and pretty tired right now. I'd much rather just sit and chill out then get up and get ready, but hey, they have my money, so I need to go. SO tired though.
I'm really really happy with how things are going with my boyfriend. Things were a bit off for a little while, when he thought I wanted more than he could give, but since then, and since we've talked more, I think he knows for sure that I'm happy. Lately things are back to where they were before and that's great. I don't feel like he's pulling away or has a guard up or anything and I know that I don't. I'm happy with where we are at. I love him. I just have so much fun with him, no pressure. I love that we can give each other a hard time and its all good.
I guess that's it for this morning. Not too much to say today. I'm happy! That's all there is.
Yesterday was a little running around, bank, mom's, the vet for more cat food (gotta love $50 for a 10 pound bag of cat food!).
Last night I went out for dinner with the boyfriend, then into Boston, to Newbury. I ended up getting the 4 bracelets I wanted for Christmas gifts, plus one for me. Then they had a special that for every $50, you could pick from month bracelets or initial bracelets for $16 each. So I got one "J" for me and a "K" for the boyfriends niece. But I love the 2 that I have now for me, plus... four more Christmas gifts DONE! The list is looking good.
Got some sports stuff for my brother and cousin, gift certificates for my parents and aunt and uncle, my boyfriends gift, work stuff, then the 4 scarfs. I think that's about it. So all and all, doing REALLY well for Christmas! :)
Today is a 5K. Getting picked up in about an hour to head to that. Not super motivated for me and pretty tired right now. I'd much rather just sit and chill out then get up and get ready, but hey, they have my money, so I need to go. SO tired though.
I'm really really happy with how things are going with my boyfriend. Things were a bit off for a little while, when he thought I wanted more than he could give, but since then, and since we've talked more, I think he knows for sure that I'm happy. Lately things are back to where they were before and that's great. I don't feel like he's pulling away or has a guard up or anything and I know that I don't. I'm happy with where we are at. I love him. I just have so much fun with him, no pressure. I love that we can give each other a hard time and its all good.
I guess that's it for this morning. Not too much to say today. I'm happy! That's all there is.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
YAY!! LAPTOP!
I really do have the best boyfriend ever! He's so good at finding deals & doing research online. You should see the gym he has set up at his house... with real, legit GYM equipment. Not home gym, I mean, pay a fee and workout AT a gym... that type of equipment. And he scored BIG TIME on the deals he got! It was just completely unreal!
SO when I needed my new laptop, and started getting more and more frustrated at NOT having one, I put a challenge to him. Since he's SO good at finding deals, did he think he could find a good deal for me on a laptop? I didn't want much... internet and pictures. That's all I use it for. Once and a while if I bring work home, but not often.
That was less than a week ago! The beginning of this week I asked him about that, saying how good he is at things like that. And he's been finding deals for days! Thursday he sent me a link to one, but I wasn't sure after reading some reviews on it. Then yesterday he sent me another one. Last night he showed me the reviews for it on his phone.
Then, after dinner, we headed into the store in Cambridge. $400 later, I have a faster, lighter and better laptop than I had before! I'm not kidding... WITH tax, it was under $410! It was $379.99 for this computer and I LOVE it.
After we got back to his house, he started getting it set up for me and overnight the battery charged. When I got home this morning (borrowing his bag to bring it home safely), I couldn't connect to my network and was stuck. He looked it up on his computer and talked me through all the steps. And here I am... online, at home, on my new laptop!
I really do have the best boyfriend ever. :)
And not even just this. He's just a great guy. Things are so good. I'm happy. I'm happy with him, with us, with our relationship and with where things are at. What we have works for us. I don't see him every day. And I appreciate that he needs some space... so do I. I was SO happy to be home on Thursday night, sleeping in my own bed, alone, and Friday morning just waking up. No alarm, no nothing. Just slept until I woke up. That was GREAT!
Things are just really great.
Today I'm heading up to mom's for a bit... need to get my butt in gear for that. Plus stopping at the bank to toss money from my savings into my checking... since I just spent $400 last night! And tonight we are heading back into Boston. I want to buy a few more Christmas gifts at the Alex and Ani store on Newbury, but I want to get into Newbury before Thanksgiving for that. And that will cut a HUGE amount off of my shopping list! VERY excited about that one.
I still have lots of things I want to spend money on, and buying a laptop wasn't exactly on the budget, with the classes I want to take and Christmas. But bills are paid, and all up to date, money for xmas is set aside and I had extra in the savings account to cover this.
I'm hoping mom with agree to cover some of the classes I want to take for xmas gifts for me. I need to register for those sooner rather than later to make sure I have a spot in all of the classes I want to take. Monday I will have to make the phone calls for those. Plus, I am going to have to take First Aid and CPR before the classes too.
Lots on my mind, lots going on in a million directions but life is good and I am very happy with it all! :)
SO when I needed my new laptop, and started getting more and more frustrated at NOT having one, I put a challenge to him. Since he's SO good at finding deals, did he think he could find a good deal for me on a laptop? I didn't want much... internet and pictures. That's all I use it for. Once and a while if I bring work home, but not often.
That was less than a week ago! The beginning of this week I asked him about that, saying how good he is at things like that. And he's been finding deals for days! Thursday he sent me a link to one, but I wasn't sure after reading some reviews on it. Then yesterday he sent me another one. Last night he showed me the reviews for it on his phone.
Then, after dinner, we headed into the store in Cambridge. $400 later, I have a faster, lighter and better laptop than I had before! I'm not kidding... WITH tax, it was under $410! It was $379.99 for this computer and I LOVE it.
After we got back to his house, he started getting it set up for me and overnight the battery charged. When I got home this morning (borrowing his bag to bring it home safely), I couldn't connect to my network and was stuck. He looked it up on his computer and talked me through all the steps. And here I am... online, at home, on my new laptop!
I really do have the best boyfriend ever. :)
And not even just this. He's just a great guy. Things are so good. I'm happy. I'm happy with him, with us, with our relationship and with where things are at. What we have works for us. I don't see him every day. And I appreciate that he needs some space... so do I. I was SO happy to be home on Thursday night, sleeping in my own bed, alone, and Friday morning just waking up. No alarm, no nothing. Just slept until I woke up. That was GREAT!
Things are just really great.
Today I'm heading up to mom's for a bit... need to get my butt in gear for that. Plus stopping at the bank to toss money from my savings into my checking... since I just spent $400 last night! And tonight we are heading back into Boston. I want to buy a few more Christmas gifts at the Alex and Ani store on Newbury, but I want to get into Newbury before Thanksgiving for that. And that will cut a HUGE amount off of my shopping list! VERY excited about that one.
I still have lots of things I want to spend money on, and buying a laptop wasn't exactly on the budget, with the classes I want to take and Christmas. But bills are paid, and all up to date, money for xmas is set aside and I had extra in the savings account to cover this.
I'm hoping mom with agree to cover some of the classes I want to take for xmas gifts for me. I need to register for those sooner rather than later to make sure I have a spot in all of the classes I want to take. Monday I will have to make the phone calls for those. Plus, I am going to have to take First Aid and CPR before the classes too.
Lots on my mind, lots going on in a million directions but life is good and I am very happy with it all! :)
Thursday, November 10, 2011
SO hard to write when I don't have a home computer! I've been trying to add in my November goals for a week now but all I have managed to do was get them down on paper.
Right now I have so much going on in so many different areas that my goals seem crazy. I have so many in too many areas. But overall, they will all help to lead me where I eventually want to be. At least they will help to keep me moving in that direction.
This time around I sorted them by categories.
EXERCISE:
Run- three times per week. By the end of the month (Thanksgiving weekend), do a 4-5 mile run.
Swim- starting mid month (when ear plugs are delivered and ear infection gone), start swimming 1 mile swims in under one hour, 1-2 times per week.
Pilates- take classes at the gym 1-2 times per week
Weights/Strength Training- Twice per week
Kickboxing- Start these classes end of month, three times per week.
FINANCES:
Have all bills current by end of month.
Buy lap top by end of month.
Have $ left in savings account, in addition to $ for Xmas.
X-MAS:
Order boyfriends gift.
Buy the 4 Alex and Ani bracelets for gifts.
Make 2-3 scarfs by end of month.
Still have $ set aside (not spent on other things) by end of month.
WEIGHT:
Get it back under control and back under 130 pounds by end of month. (SICK of hovering just above!)
FUND RAISING:
Have solid plans in place for ideas.
Ask about my matching gift again.
Ask about obtaining tickets.
Continue additional brainstorming ideas.
TRAINING:
Continue brainstorming ideas.
Register for 4 workshops (3 in February, 1 in December)
Figure out a way to train people pro-bono during the winter months to get experience.
Attend minimum of 1 networking event.
Make 3 new connections with people who could help me progress in this area.
Lots of goals, but still excited! :)
Right now I have so much going on in so many different areas that my goals seem crazy. I have so many in too many areas. But overall, they will all help to lead me where I eventually want to be. At least they will help to keep me moving in that direction.
This time around I sorted them by categories.
EXERCISE:
Run- three times per week. By the end of the month (Thanksgiving weekend), do a 4-5 mile run.
Swim- starting mid month (when ear plugs are delivered and ear infection gone), start swimming 1 mile swims in under one hour, 1-2 times per week.
Pilates- take classes at the gym 1-2 times per week
Weights/Strength Training- Twice per week
Kickboxing- Start these classes end of month, three times per week.
FINANCES:
Have all bills current by end of month.
Buy lap top by end of month.
Have $ left in savings account, in addition to $ for Xmas.
X-MAS:
Order boyfriends gift.
Buy the 4 Alex and Ani bracelets for gifts.
Make 2-3 scarfs by end of month.
Still have $ set aside (not spent on other things) by end of month.
WEIGHT:
Get it back under control and back under 130 pounds by end of month. (SICK of hovering just above!)
FUND RAISING:
Have solid plans in place for ideas.
Ask about my matching gift again.
Ask about obtaining tickets.
Continue additional brainstorming ideas.
TRAINING:
Continue brainstorming ideas.
Register for 4 workshops (3 in February, 1 in December)
Figure out a way to train people pro-bono during the winter months to get experience.
Attend minimum of 1 networking event.
Make 3 new connections with people who could help me progress in this area.
Lots of goals, but still excited! :)
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
NO laptop!
So the laptop is COMPLETELY dead at this point and will not turn on at all. I hit power, some lights turn on, but nothing happens on the screen. I'm holding out for 2 more weeks until Black Friday to get a deal on a new one. But this is KILLING me not having one at home. Work has been really busy, so I'm lucky if I eat lunch, forget about get online. And it is really hard trying to use someone else's computer for my personal stuff.
All that said, life is good! :) Been really busy with life, but making progress on everything in the ways I want. Got money to pay for the group fitness certification class.. just need to find it online. (LOL! On that list of sites to go to!) Plus, I'll need first aid and CPR for that. I also have lists of people I have been and will be talking to about all of this... 2-3 of them just today! SO all in all, the plans to go forward with this are going really really well. I know what I want and I'm taking steps to get there.
Still doing my best to work out some details and continue brainstorming ideas for what would work best for me to get this all going, give me some more experience as well as confidence in what I'm doing. Luckily, New Years is right around the corner, so that will be really good for me. It'll open up new opportunities for training people with the whole resolution thing.
Slowly starting out on the marathon training. Got another ear infection though. Just ordered ear plug for swimming, since I think that is what caused it. Four times in the pool and my ear is THROBBING. I've been out of the pool for a week, using prescription ear drops, plus Aleve for pain. Slowly getting better. Toss in the time change and I'm exhausted! Training is SLOW, but I know I'll be ok. I have time... over 5 months! And I'm signed up for a 10K on New Years Day already.
I plan on doing the same 1/2 marathon in February as I did last year and I can use that as a guide to where I'm at for the marathon. Really looking forward to it all. Within the next 2 months, I'm already signed up for three 5K's plus a 10k! This will be fun!
What else??? Me as a trainer, me and my marathon training. Work is busy. Bills and money are doing great. Xmas shopping is under way and money is set aside to cover it all.
The boyfriend? Guess that's a good topic! :) Well, a great topic! LOL! I love him. I really do. He just makes me happy. I think of him and smile and that's a really great thing. Things are great.
We had an interesting conversation about a week and a half ago which was really good. At first, I was a little disappointed but it really got me thinking about things and in a way I hadn't thought about them all before. He told me (after he said he loved me and has fun with me and all the good stuff), that he didn't think he was the right person for me. He doesn't want to get married or have kids and felt like I was pushing that on him. Really got me thinking.
First, the kids. I'm 37. Who knows if I even COULD have kids? And that's even IF I want them. The older I get, the less I do. I know I would never do it on my own, ever. Too much work. Plus, my patience is less and less with whiny brats the older that I get. Would I really want to do that? Once and a while, yeah, I want that, but I'm really good with NOT doing that. And again... even IF I could have kids at this point.
Then marriage. I always said that if I was in a relationship, I didn't want to be a long term girlfriend. I wanted it to end in marriage. Here he is, flat out telling me that NO, that is not going to happen. He just does NOT want to get married. Ever. Period. End of story. Ok. Got me thinking. If I'm alright with not getting married if I was single, how would I feel not getting married in a relationship? If I was with someone long term, how would I feel if he never married me and that was all it was?
For a while, the only answer I could come up with was, I don't know. I don't know how I would feel years from now, being someones girlfriend and not having it end in marriage. I just don't know how I would feel.
Then I started thinking more specifically. I started thinking specifically about my boyfriend and being with him. I still don't know how I will feel down the road. That is just impossible to know. How am I going to feel two, three or four years from now? Jeeze, I don't even know how I'm going to feel in 2 months when I run the 10K on New Years Day!
That's when I started thinking about right now. Right now with my boyfriend. Funny.. just typing that... "Right now with my boyfriend"... just typing that alone brought a smile to my face. :) I think that alone says something, more than I can even explain.
I am happy. I love him. I love what we have. I love spending time with him. We have so much fun together, all the time. He is a great person. And I just love him. That's it. I love him and I'm happy. That's when I made my decision.
I don't know changed to I don't care. I have no idea what the future holds. I don't know how I am going to feel down the road or where my life will be. I don't know what I will want or what will be important to me.
What I do know? Is that today, right now, I am happy. Right now, this is what I want. That's what I know.
SO I am giving up any worries or stress or anything on what could or couldn't, might or might not happen at some unknown point in the future. It doesn't matter. Only today does. Only how I feel right now. And right now, I know that I am happy, I love my boyfriend and this is what I want.
Who knows where my life will end up. Who knows what twists and turns will happen or surprises I have in store. A year ago, I never ever would have imagined that I am starting my training to run in the Boston Marathon for the SECOND time! Seriously? That was not even a thought at all!
SO.. trying to figure out what is ahead for me and let these unknowns influence this amazing relationship that I have? No. I don't think so. I am not going to let some unknown feeling or what could happen someday impact everything wonderful that I have going on today, right now, in my life.
Like I said.. it got me thinking about things in a whole different way. :) And I am happier than ever too.
I can't wait to see what else my life has in store. So many great things present themselves to me. Things I never ever would have imagined being in my life or even things I ever would have THOUGHT that I would want! Its kind of cool. :)
All that said, life is good! :) Been really busy with life, but making progress on everything in the ways I want. Got money to pay for the group fitness certification class.. just need to find it online. (LOL! On that list of sites to go to!) Plus, I'll need first aid and CPR for that. I also have lists of people I have been and will be talking to about all of this... 2-3 of them just today! SO all in all, the plans to go forward with this are going really really well. I know what I want and I'm taking steps to get there.
Still doing my best to work out some details and continue brainstorming ideas for what would work best for me to get this all going, give me some more experience as well as confidence in what I'm doing. Luckily, New Years is right around the corner, so that will be really good for me. It'll open up new opportunities for training people with the whole resolution thing.
Slowly starting out on the marathon training. Got another ear infection though. Just ordered ear plug for swimming, since I think that is what caused it. Four times in the pool and my ear is THROBBING. I've been out of the pool for a week, using prescription ear drops, plus Aleve for pain. Slowly getting better. Toss in the time change and I'm exhausted! Training is SLOW, but I know I'll be ok. I have time... over 5 months! And I'm signed up for a 10K on New Years Day already.
I plan on doing the same 1/2 marathon in February as I did last year and I can use that as a guide to where I'm at for the marathon. Really looking forward to it all. Within the next 2 months, I'm already signed up for three 5K's plus a 10k! This will be fun!
What else??? Me as a trainer, me and my marathon training. Work is busy. Bills and money are doing great. Xmas shopping is under way and money is set aside to cover it all.
The boyfriend? Guess that's a good topic! :) Well, a great topic! LOL! I love him. I really do. He just makes me happy. I think of him and smile and that's a really great thing. Things are great.
We had an interesting conversation about a week and a half ago which was really good. At first, I was a little disappointed but it really got me thinking about things and in a way I hadn't thought about them all before. He told me (after he said he loved me and has fun with me and all the good stuff), that he didn't think he was the right person for me. He doesn't want to get married or have kids and felt like I was pushing that on him. Really got me thinking.
First, the kids. I'm 37. Who knows if I even COULD have kids? And that's even IF I want them. The older I get, the less I do. I know I would never do it on my own, ever. Too much work. Plus, my patience is less and less with whiny brats the older that I get. Would I really want to do that? Once and a while, yeah, I want that, but I'm really good with NOT doing that. And again... even IF I could have kids at this point.
Then marriage. I always said that if I was in a relationship, I didn't want to be a long term girlfriend. I wanted it to end in marriage. Here he is, flat out telling me that NO, that is not going to happen. He just does NOT want to get married. Ever. Period. End of story. Ok. Got me thinking. If I'm alright with not getting married if I was single, how would I feel not getting married in a relationship? If I was with someone long term, how would I feel if he never married me and that was all it was?
For a while, the only answer I could come up with was, I don't know. I don't know how I would feel years from now, being someones girlfriend and not having it end in marriage. I just don't know how I would feel.
Then I started thinking more specifically. I started thinking specifically about my boyfriend and being with him. I still don't know how I will feel down the road. That is just impossible to know. How am I going to feel two, three or four years from now? Jeeze, I don't even know how I'm going to feel in 2 months when I run the 10K on New Years Day!
That's when I started thinking about right now. Right now with my boyfriend. Funny.. just typing that... "Right now with my boyfriend"... just typing that alone brought a smile to my face. :) I think that alone says something, more than I can even explain.
I am happy. I love him. I love what we have. I love spending time with him. We have so much fun together, all the time. He is a great person. And I just love him. That's it. I love him and I'm happy. That's when I made my decision.
I don't know changed to I don't care. I have no idea what the future holds. I don't know how I am going to feel down the road or where my life will be. I don't know what I will want or what will be important to me.
What I do know? Is that today, right now, I am happy. Right now, this is what I want. That's what I know.
SO I am giving up any worries or stress or anything on what could or couldn't, might or might not happen at some unknown point in the future. It doesn't matter. Only today does. Only how I feel right now. And right now, I know that I am happy, I love my boyfriend and this is what I want.
Who knows where my life will end up. Who knows what twists and turns will happen or surprises I have in store. A year ago, I never ever would have imagined that I am starting my training to run in the Boston Marathon for the SECOND time! Seriously? That was not even a thought at all!
SO.. trying to figure out what is ahead for me and let these unknowns influence this amazing relationship that I have? No. I don't think so. I am not going to let some unknown feeling or what could happen someday impact everything wonderful that I have going on today, right now, in my life.
Like I said.. it got me thinking about things in a whole different way. :) And I am happier than ever too.
I can't wait to see what else my life has in store. So many great things present themselves to me. Things I never ever would have imagined being in my life or even things I ever would have THOUGHT that I would want! Its kind of cool. :)
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