Went up to mom and dad's this afternoon. While I was driving up I finally figured out my mood. I was relaxed! That's why it was so difficult for me to figure it out, I forgot what it felt like to be relaxed! WOW!

I'm in a weird mood today. I slept in which was nice (no workout this morning- sletp through it!) and I have been lazy. I need to get my butt into the shower so I can head up to my parents house.
I'm in a introspective mood. I don't have a lot of stong emotion today. Not really empty, but not really emotional either. Weird. I could just sit here and stare our the window... look at the bare trees with the white sky behind it. I don't have a whole lot right now in my head. This is weird.
I guess this is good. I've been so stressed out lately, so emotional and so over the top, so it is kind of refreshing to have an easy day. I'm not angry or frustrated at all either. That's nice.
Hmm... I slept in and just woke up when my body was ready to. Guess this might be what it is like to be fully rested.

I'm not sure what was the stupidest part of my day today. Overall, very unhealthy and lazy and slightly pathetic.

First, I didn't sleep well last night. I was tossing and turning all night long. So when the alarm went off just after 7am, there was NO WAY I was going to make it to boot camp at 8am. I sent her a text to cancel. Never did end up falling back to sleep but ended up finding out it was that time of the month several days early. (that's important for later!)

I finally give up on trying to sleep and decide to get a drink... COFFEE! I have a flavored coffee, but I just wasn't feeling it and I wanted to open the bag of Dunkin coffee I bought. I got to open it, look at the package (again, no sleep and no coffee yet) my first thought was "whole grain? what the hell is whole grain coffee?". Nope... it said whole bean! GREAT!!

I end up with the flavored coffee I didn't want. It finally finishes brewing. I put my splenda in the mug and go to grab the fat free cream in the fridge. As I pour it into my coffee... its YELLOW!! Hmmm... grabbed the egg substitute instead of the cream! Pour out the mug and wash it off, then I started the process all over again so I could have my first cup of coffee.

Later I was talking to my mom about it all, so told me I could have one of her coffee grinders. She has 2; one I bought for her years ago and one my uncle Tom gave her in a basket at Christmas... the same freaking basket he gave me!! That's when I opened my cabinet and found my coffee grinder. NICE coffee morning, huh?

All day long all I did was watch tv. I hung up two things on the wall in the kitchen and went through some t-shirts (moved them into something that stores under the bed to open up another drawer for space and have a couple to get rid of) and that was about it.

I was DYING for chocolate... crazy craving for it. I don't have any chocolate. I try not to keep that kind of food in my house. BUT, after I baked 2 weeks ago and made a weight watchers recipe of chocolate cherry mini muffins, I went out and bought another box of devil's food cake mix. All I was missing was the cherries. Then I thought to myself, instead of muffins, I could make a cake and use the same recipe minus the cherries and make the frosting too. Since the frosting uses 1 cup of the mix, I didn't have a whole lot of mix left to fill out a full baking pan. All I could find was a glass pie dish. So that's what I baked my chocolate cake in!

While I was mixing it (and licking the bowl and the mixing things) I figured I got my chocolate fix and I wasn't even really hungry anymore. It might be nice if I saved the cake for tomorrow since we will be doing my dad's birthday tomorrow. That didn't last long. I frosted the cake and I have already ate 2 pieces.

Yup, lazy, pathetic and unhealthy day! At least I used the weight watchers recipe to make the cake! :)

I can't believe how fast this month was. Two more days left? WOW! And we have already finished 2 months of 2010. I just can't believe it. Pretty soon it will be beach weather all over again.
I'm pretty happy to be wrapping up February at work. It was pretty stressful with the staffing changes and a few other interesting events. But for the last working day of the month, we accomplished a lot and I finally finished my portion of a pretty big project. Now I'm just waiting to start the next 4 BIG projects and I'm hoping that they don't all hit at the same time! :)

Last night I posted the couch to 5K on the fitness groups calendar... for the last week in April! I already have 6 people signed up and it isn't for another 2 months! Crazy, but people seemed really excited to be involved with it. I know I can't wait for it... just need to make sure I get the ok from the doctor to start up again. I'm really looking forward to it and I know I feel so much better.
I really think starting it up this year will be so different than last time, even though I haven't run since October. Just with all of the working out I have been doing over the past few months, I know it has changed my body, so I think it will be easier for me to handle the program this time. Plus, I'm more than 15 pounds less than I was when I started jogging last July and I have so much more muscle mass!
I think the cardio will be really good for me and I work well with routines and structure, so this will be great. Between having that on Monday and Wednesday nights, and working out with a trainer on Tuesday and Thursday nights, I'll be GREAT!!
Then my trainer is going to be doing "boot camps" at the HS right near my house on Friday's at 6:30. I figure if I get there early, I can do my 3rd training night, then take the hour boot camp class. And if I still decided that I want to go out, I'll be home by quarter of 8 and I can ready fast, so that'll work out so nice! :)

I have been pretty stressed out about my finances. Every time I think I'm getting ahead, some other things seem to pop up. I really need to work on that going forward. Not quite sure how. I keep saying, next month will be better... but then the next month comes along and I'm still playing catch up. I don't know if it really is even possible to get ahead living on just one salary in this world. I hate having to be responsible for it all. I don't spend a whole lot of money either.... just food, gas, bills, then the other stuff is exercise classes and my massages for my back.
Somethings gotta give soon, but I'm not sure what! :) Hmmm.... maybe I can win the lottery or something! Oh well. Nice to dream, right?

I'm so tired, and I can't believe that I am going to go to bed this early on a Friday night. I worked late, stopped for pizza with a friend after work and was home before 8:30. Now I want to go to bed and it is 9:45! WOW, I am really starting to get old! :)

I don't have much in the way of plans for this weekend... working out both morning bright and early. Tomorrow my plan (yet again) is to FINALLY empty out my car from when I cleared out the old apartment last month. Yes, I still have 3 rubbermaid containers in my back seat plus boxes in the trunk. So sad! SO, tomorrow I want to completely clear out my car, and clean my whole apartment and put EVERYTHING away. I do have a few things that I want to bring to my parents house, so I can toss that stuff back into my car since I'll be heading up their way on Sunday.
And I want to finally hang pictures up on my walls too. I have them all laying around my apartment. Time to get them up! :)
I still need to buy new curtains for my bedroom and my living room. Mom said that she'd get them for me as a "house warming", but not sure when that's going to happen. Maybe I can talk her into shopping on Sunday when I'm up there.

Ok, time for bed. My alarm is going off at 7am so I can get to bootcamp at 8. I'll be SO tired! :) But this is good for me. Alex kicks my butt and this is really hard class but I do it and I'm done for the day! Then I can go home, clean and take a nap! :)
NITE and happy weekend.

SO I called the electric company and there was some confusion with the bill. My one month was only $62 and change, not $181.25, so now I feel MUCH better. I'm sure things will eventually work themselves out, but it'll just be some time to catch up.
I do want to go food shopping again, got a GREAT recipe for some fish that I want to make for myself. SO... I'll have to go shopping for everything, plus for some Glad ware to store the leftovers in.
Tonight I went to my legs and abs workout. Its nice to get back into it after missing all last week with my back pulled. It was nice to feel it. In theory I'd love to go to the gym tomorrow, but I know me... I don't think I'd go. NO, I need to be positive and stick with it.... I AM GOING to the gym.
Wait... I forgot. I have a 1/2 day tomorrow. One of the girls that used to work for me (well, I guess she does again, she's coming back part-time next week) left working full-time for me last August to go back to school for dental hygiene. She needs "patients" so I'm leaving work at 12:30 and going to her school to have my teeth cleaned. Not sure if I'll be up for working out after that. But again, in theory... GREAT IDEA! :)
WAIT!! Can I count that as the 2nd thing I've never done before for February? I've never had my teeth cleaned at a SCHOOL! Seriously, it could take hours and she might not finish. Hmmm.... I'll see if I can come up with something else that I can do instead. I'll try to sit on it.

SO I was starting to do some bills tonight. I paid my cable/internet bill, no big deal. Then I opened up my electric bill. First one in the new place. They estimated it to be about $60 a month (I have electric hot water too). Yeah, no. One month? $181.21! Are you kidding me??? Three times what I thought I'd be paying! That's insane!
Did I mention that I just got my registration renewal, my excise tax is due too, plus I have a couple of medical bills I have to pay. Yeah, I'm getting ahead alright!
Funny thing is, I was following the rules of the secret, focusing on having more money in my life to bring it in. Got a check today from my car insurance company... they over charged me and were sending the difference to me. $2.05. I kind of was picturing more zeros in that check, but whatever.
SO.... now I need to find a way to get more money coming in and I'm not sure how to do that right now. This will be interesting.
Sadly.... my response when I opened up my electric bill? I start to hysterically laugh. What else could I do?
Good times!
I always land on my feet, so I'm sure I'll figure it all out. Just need to get my head back in the game and see what comes my way.

Short weeks are bad weeks

For a short week with Monday off, it was a really bad week. Today I was finally able to work on emails from THIS week, but was still crazy behind. I was one of 6 who receive an email from someone saying in part that she quit (the rest was telling her boss off), then I had a meltdown. All it took was an email from an account saying that she sent a fax over yesterday but it still wasn't done. She wanted to make sure we got her fax. Yup, that was all it took.
My wonderful boss approved indefinate overtime from one person below me and ok'd her to work from home for part of her overtime (she stayed one hour late, THEN logged on for another hour from home). Just her being able to do overtime, lets me pass off even more work to her, so I can be in a better spot and focus on other things.
THEN, I took tomorrow off. I asked for a mental health day and he said ok. I just need it. I'm at the point that I need a break.
After work, I stopped at a bar 2 blocks near my new apartment. I had 3 martinis. And the best part. I can sleep in tomorrow! :)
Happy Weekend!

SO all my exercising, pulled my back out. FUN! My lower back. Been taking some nice drugs since and I have a therma care on my lower back. Between the 2 I'm a little better. I skipping bootcamp today and was pretty bummed, but did go for a 3 1/2 mile walk. I think that helped my back a little, but now its pretty sore again. I hope it is better tomorrow so I can go to class tomorrow night.

Sadly, on my day off today I did log into work but only for a little while. I had to go through and check the work of my new people. I finished reviewing the work of one of them, but not the other. The one I reviewed did a great job, so I'm really happy! I know the other will be just as good. I hope I can get to work early tomorrow to get a ton of work done and get a little bit ahead to start the short week off right.

Yesterday my family had a big dinner, about 15 of us then a few more for dessert. I have a new cousin! My aunt and uncle adopted Rosie about 2 weeks ago. She's 1 1/2 and I wanted to steal her! She was following me when I left and she feel asleep on my lap too! I LOVE her.
Here she is sleeping on the floor by my feet.




If my computer went faster then I could upload more of my new favorite cousin! She's a love bug!! :)

What a week it has been. After last week and knowing how tough this week was going to be, I've already written off February. This whole month is going to be pretty hard.
I had 2 new people start at work on Tuesday, so I've been doing training all week. Although training isn't fun, I am pretty impressed at how well the two of them are doing. I know they will be fine after another couple of weeks. Of course they will still have questions, but they will have the basics down and I know my department will be in pretty good shape over all.
Luckily, that will mean good things for me. The better they do, the better it reflects on me, and the more likely I will be to get a promotion to manager! That's what I want. I know I'll have to work hard, but I do that anyway.
What else?
Last Saturday I took a mixed martial arts class... for 3 hours! It was fun but tough. Unfortunately the boxing part slightly messed up my wrist that I broke 2 years ago. I have needed to take Vicotin almost every day for it. If its still sore on Tuesday I'm going to have to call my orthopedic surgeon and see what he says. I'm just afraid that I'll need surgery to remove the plate and screws that I have in there.
I gained weight this week in the skinny bitch club. But, this week lots of people are telling me how much weight I have lost. That at least made me feel a little better. I'm getting more toned, but I'm not losing weight. But I am in the best shape I have EVER been in. Even when I was 15 pounds less than this, I am in better shape and health than I was then (minus the wrist and back issues!) :) I'm stronger than I was. I exercise more and I eat SO much better. I know I feel better.
I love that I'm getting closer and closer to my goal. Even though the scale isn't my ultimate goal, it is looking better and being healthier, I do still want to see the scale under 130 pounds. I can't believe that today I was down to 137.4! When I graduated HS in 1992 I was 129! So almost 18 years later (DAMN!) I am less than 9 pounds heavier! That's pretty good! And I know it will get better and I know by June I will be under 130 pounds, so when it is exactly 18 years, I'll be even less than I was when I graduated. :)
Last night I saw my friend Jess and she told me I was super skinny. I know I'm not that... I still have my big ol' butt that will always be with me, but everything else IS getting smaller, tighter and looks better in general.
Funny, I never thought that I would plan things around my exercise! Talk about a big step! Yesterday at work when they said I would have to work a weekend or 2 for a really big project we have coming up, my first thought was, "I don't want to miss Zumba on Sundays". WOW! Yeah, I've come a LONG way!
I already lost making February the month I'd work out every day. I didn't last Friday, today or this past Wednesday..... so out of 11 days I have missed 3. That's really not that bad. I'll be at Alex's classes the next 4 days and I can't wait! She kicks my butt, but I feel so good after.
Tomorrow should be a good day. I have Alex's class at 8am, then I want to get some stuff done at home and get more crap out of my car. I can do all of that for a couple of hours, as long as I'm in the shower by noon. I have to leave my house around 1 to head up to visit with a friend I haven't seen in months, so that'll be fun too! :)
Sunday I am going to Alex's class at 9, then home and... WAIT! Saturday I need to fit in a stop at the grocery store! Ok, back to Sunday. After Alex's class, home to bake! I'm making weight watchers chocolate cherry mini muffins. Then I'm going up to my parents house, doing laundry there, and we are going to my grandparents house for a HUGE dinner with SO many people in my family. I am basically expecting about 25 or so people. It will be a BLAST! :) (that's why I'm baking, but I might end up doing that when I get home on Saturday night instead, I don't know yet!)
Then on Monday, I have Alex's class again at 11am, since its a holiday I can go during the day. I want to get a few more things done around the house but I have no real plans other than Alex's class. I might go to the movies by myself. There is a little theater near my house that's super cheap ($6 or $4 early show!). Granted they have older movies, but I still haven't seen The Blind Side or Precious and they are both playing there. So I might do that if I feel like it.
I am going to enjoy this weekend! :)
Although I did bring some work home to do, I'd rather enjoy as much of the weekend as I can. It'll be nice. Now that I am completely out of my old apartment and I don't have to feel rushed to do things, I'm looking forward to seeing what comes up.
Funny, because a year ago my life was SO different. I was hating my job, about 20 pounds heavier and miserable, didn't have a lot of friends or interests, never worked out and hated where I lived. What a difference a year makes! :)

I was supposed to go to the gym tonight but I can't. I'm falling asleep already! I think I'm going to do some yoga sitting at home and that can count for today.
I'm just glad this work week is over. February is off to a funky start. Two people were let go at work this week, completely performance based and not layoffs. Both were in my department. Hopefully things will work out well for me going forward but the transition is going to be tough. I know we will manage though.
I have SO much cleaning and unpacking to do this weekend. My new apartment is in shambles right now. I have boxes and bags everywhere that need to be unpacked, plus some shopping I have to do tomorrow. Going to be a very crazy weekend.
I need to get to bed early tonight.. I know I'll need the rest. I think I'm going to take one of my new muscle relaxers that I got a prescription for. My back is getting pretty tight from the workout last night... she kind of killed my shoulders and I know I pushed it too much.
I made the decision that this month I would focus more on what I was eatting. So far, not so good! I hope a good trip to the market tomorrow will fix that right up! :) I need to remember to bring my bags... this store gives a discount for that!
Sadly... quarter of 7 on a Friday night and I am again exhausted and ready for bed this early. Fridays have always been a tough night for me.
I'm keeping my fingers crossed that life stays on the right track for me. I've been working hard and I think that good things are going to happen. I really believe that.

I went to the arms class tonight. I'm hoping I'm not too sore tomorrow. This was the first time I really focused on my upper body. I know I'll feel it, but I'm hoping not too bad!
Last night I tried Zumba Tone. It was ok, but I didn't love it. I really love Zumba though. I can't wait until my next class on Sunday morning.
Today is the 4th and I have done something for 6 days straight. Saturday was Alex's class, Sunday was Zumba, Monday was Belly Dancing, Tuesday was Alex again, Wednesday Zumba Tone and today was Alex AGAIN. I think I'm going to the gym tomorrow for the eliptical. I just made a new playlist on my IPod for it and I'm charging it. I would LOVE it if I could get up early and just go to the gym first thing, but I highly doubt that is going to happen.
I'm really proud of how far I have come so far with working out. I wish the scale followed but I'm in such better shape than I have ever been in. That's a great thing for me!

On another notet... I love Project Runway! This is a fun season! :)

Wednesday- I don't hate it!

What a surprise! I don't hate today. The massage I had yesterday, even though it was pretty deep, isn't killing me today. I can feel my shoulders but not too badly. And same thing with last night's legs and abs class. It was an insane class and my legs and abs were BURNING last night, but today I'm ok. I can feel it, but a good thing, not a "I can't walk down the stairs or stand up" thing.
Plus, today is turning into a rather interesting day at the office. Lots of stuff going on. Like a giant pink elephant is standing here and people are just walking right around it. No one is mentioning anything. Interesting.
I have a meeting in an hour and I think the pink elephant will be discussed then. Not sure of how all of it will impact me and the people who work for me, but these are all interesting developments.

I love Tuesdays!

I used to hate Tuesdays. It is a couple of days after the weekend, so any excitment is over but it is too far away from the next weekend to even matter.
But now I love Tuesdays, my new favorite day of the week.
It is the one day of the week I actually take a lunch and leave the building. I get my massages every single Tuesday at noon! What a great break in the day.
Then after work, I come home and hang out for a few, but then head out to a great legs and abs class with Alex where she kicks my butt in shape.
When I get home from class, its just in time to watch my favorite TV show, The Biggest Loser (this season is GREAT!).
Tuesday's are the best day of the week!
Now Wednesdays on the other hand?? Um, yeah, I have a great super deep massage on Tuesdays and a kick my butt legs and abs class on Tuesday nights. I don't love Wednesdays now. I need Vicotin to get me through the day.