more randomness

I feel like I never write here anymore. I guess I just have some times when I am on a roll and others when I am just not.

I am in a better mood than I was last week, but that nasty mood lasted DAYS! It was pretty bad. I think I was starting to get sick and was just run down overall. Still haven't slept wonderfully, but I'm a bit more positive at least and not so cranky.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Looking forward to seeing everyone at dinner and REALLY looking forward to all the pies. YUMMY! I think there are 8 or 9 of us at dinner and we will have 7 or 8 pies too! But that's how we generally are, a pie a person! :) Crazy, but fun.

I have a 5K walk at 7:30am too.. guess I can reach for that 2nd piece of pie after walking the 3+ miles. Should be a good morning. It is through the fitness group and I have 11 or 12 people signed up for the walk.

The fitness group is doing amazingly well. I love that I have a bigger group of people on the team and membership keeps growing. Just having it is a great way to keep me on track so I can find new things to post and new activities to participate in. I can't wait until my body is better and I can do more.

My back has been killing me this week. I don't know if it is because I have been so run down, because of the crappy, rainy, raw weather we have been having, or just because I have a disc issue, but it just HURTS. I have an appointment for another cortisone shot on Tuesday. I'm nervous about it again. I know Wednesday is going to be really tough too, was last time. I just want all of this to go away. I'm too young to have back issues this bad. I want to be healthy!

We had our weekly weigh in today. I gained .6 for the second week in a row. Oh well. I'm still down 5.8 but I should be over 9 pounds by now! This isn't good. I need to bust it this weekend! I do so much better when I really focus and exercise. I know what I have to do so I don't know what my problem is with actually doing it! I just have to commit to myself for it! I need to do it. I would LOVE to weigh under 140 pounds.... to see 139.8 would be AMAZING! That is my goal for New Years. Hmm... this morning at home, naked after I went to the bathroom I was 145.6. Can I lose 6 pounds in 36 days? I can still be under 140 for New Years day of 2010? How cool would that be?

New Years day of 2009 I weighted 159.2. I would LOVE to lose 20 pounds this year! That would be the coolest thing ever! I'm pretty sure I can do it, but with tomorrow and then all the xmas stuff, I am really going to have to focus on what I am eatting and make sure I really put the effort into exercising! And that would keep my motivation up for 2010. If I could lose 20 pounds in one year, then I could easily lose another 15 for 2011! Ok, starting to get motivated with this. At least I was good tonight. An apple with peanut better was all I have eatten since I got home.

It is November 25th and I still haven't done anything outside of my comfort zone this month, forget about 2 things. And I got NOTHING. No ideas, no NOTHING. I'm nervous about this for the first time this year. I really have no idea of what 2 things I can do in the next week, well, next 4 days basically cuz tomorrow is shot with it being Thanksgiving and all. Maybe something will come up tomorrow at the 5K. I don't know. I just don't know what I can do. I was thinking of putting it up on Facebook for ideas! :) How sad is that??? I should look through my 101 list cuz I know I put a few things there that were ideas for out of my comfort zone stuff.

Well... If anyone actually reads this, HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

Funky

I'm not exactly what originally started it, but about 24 hours ago my mood just got sour. I was NASTY last night. I didn't talk to anyone, didn't get any bad texts or emails, even enjoyed watched The Biggest Loser, but my mood was UGLY!

Then I went to bed... couldn't fall asleep and when I finally did, nightmares. I don't remember them, but I do remember that the dreams were all bad. SO, I woke up in a bad mood.

I stayed in a bad mood ALL DAY LONG at work. I did my best to hold it in and not spew my negative energy on other people, but it was just nastyness all day! I couldn't get out of my own way. I was nausious and my skin was crawling. I wanted to get away from myself!

Then I come home... same thing! I can't shake this funk! I hate being like this. I don't know how to get into a better mood. I don't want to be like this tomorrow, but I've been this nasty for over 24 hours already!!!

I'm at the point that EVERYTHING is getting under my skin. TV shows, my cats, food, EVERYTHING!!!! I better shake out of this funk soon!

I had a good week when I got weighed in on Wednesday. That was good. I really want to stick with this and lose. My goal was 15 pounds in 10 weeks. As of 3 weeks I should be down 4.5 but I was only down 4. That's ok though... not too far off. I walked again this morning and I am again tomorrow. Monday night I am going to walk too and might swim laps after that. I really want to focus on this!

My back was pretty sore today. Funny, it is a completely different spot than what usually hurts! It's my lower back now... hurts to move. OH well. I ended up staying in tonight cuz my back was so sore. I'm bummed because I was really looking forward to going out but I knew I would be hurting too much.

I still haven't done anything outside of my comfort zone yet this month. It has been pretty hard to come up with anything yet. I'm stuck. I don't know what I want to do yet. I'll need 4 more things for the rest of the year, and this is getting HARD now. I don't want to spend a ton of money on anything, not that I have it right now. So I need to something low to no cost. I'm not sure.

I am still working on my 101 list too. That's going pretty good. Still writing here, still involved with meetup, still doing things outside my comfort zone and slowly tapping away at other things. I picked some pretty hard things to do on that list.

Time to relax before I go to bed early. :)

Sore back and more

I was getting back after my shot last week... each day was a little better. Today I had my massage and now I'm dying. I should have gone to the gym tonight but I am just so uncomfortable! Even just laying here on my sofa hurts! So I'm home, trying to feel better.

Between my back being sore, the time change, the cooler weather, work stress, money issues and life in general.. oh and PMS too, I've been Miss Cranky Pants this week. Even I can't stand to be around me! I'm trying to get more postive

I went on to the 29 day gift project website and writing there about things I gave made me feel better. And the people on that site are so warm and encouraging. Every time I make a post, I receive several positive comments back. Just that helps to keep me going.

Right now, for the month, they are having a gratitude project going as well. They have a place to post comments on 3 things you are grateful for. When I got home from work and was just Miss Nasty, I couldn't think of anything. Then I started to read some of the comments. Really helped to put things in perspective for me.

I know I'm still cranky and nasty, but I'm trying to find ways to get myself out of my funk and out of my own way. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I am still surprised that I have kept up with my new years resolution again... 2 years in a row! Yea me! :) I have 2 more months to do 2 more things outside of my comfort zone. I want to start early this month, so I'm not waiting like always to the last week! I don't know what else to do though. Because money is more tight now, especially with the holidays coming, I want to try to keep it to things that aren't going to cost a whole lot or are basically free! But other than doing things that are going to cost me money, I don't know a whole lot of other things I could do. Starting to run out of ideas again!

Hmm... time to start thinking.