I'm not sure how it is possible to have two horrible days in a row.  Days with absolutely horrible news... one after another. Completely unrelated events and information, but so horrible and so crushing. One after another.  How is that possible? 

I can't even process all of this right now.  I can't.  I was going to go to yoga, but I can't go out.  I can't leave my house right now.  I can't even pretend to be alright right now.  I can't fake it like I did most of yesterday and today.  Not after this second blow. 

I can't fake it anymore.  I can't process this.  I can't handle anything else happening right now.  I'm afraid to look at email or check my phone for any messages.  I'm afraid now of what else could happen and blind side me.  I can't do anymore.

Today I got over the numbness I felt from yesterday.  Its back.  I'm just numb again.  This sucks.  So much for trying to be positive and see the positive sides and be grateful for what I have and all that other bullshit. 

This is too much, too big and too crushing to deal with back to back.  I can't do anymore. I can't take anymore.  I just can't.