My little Brother

My brother and I have never been very close. I am 4 years older than him and as my dad says, we are very different people. I couldn't wait to move out growing up and fought for independence at each and every opportunity. Chris is close to my parents and at 30 still lives home. He's the golden child. He can't do anything wrong in my parents eyes. He is my mother's baby. Not that he is a mamma's boy, he's not, but he is her pride and joy (I'm the black sheep).

That's why it was a big deal for me to put on my 101 things list, do 5 things with my brother. We don't hang out. Ever. Other than seeing each other at my parents house or at other family events, last year I went to a Red Sox game with him and then a Patriots game. That's it. Before that, we met up with our own friends and hung out at the Red Sox parade in October of 2007. SO going back that long, Chris and I have hung out 3 times in 18 months.

Why am I saying all of this? Chris just called me. I was worried that something was wrong. Our parents are on vacation in Aruba and Chris NEVER calls me. I thought something happened with our parents (which surprised me because my mom called a couple of hours earlier to tell me they were doing well), or that he had been in some sort of accident. Not the case. He called to tell me he was moving.

Last April Chris went on vacation with friends to Las Vegas. While he was there he met this girl, Jess. Jess is from St. Louis. Jess flew into Boston over the 4th of July last year, then again for Thanksgiving and in February to go skiing. Chris has been out there many times too, as well as over New Years. He's flying out next week to spend 5 days there. Last time she was here, they talked about him moving out there. Now he is.

Chris said he's done up his resume and through Jess's friends it is getting passed around. He has a few contacts and is optimistic about getting a job. He has money saved up and said if he can't find something, he'll get a job in retail to make ends meet. Jess has been living on her own anyway. Chris will help with household bills and his only other bills outside of his own living expenses is his truck.

I asked him when he's moving. He's leaving in about 3 weeks. He'll give his notice at work next Monday, after he comes back from St. Louis, then he'll drive out after finishing up his last 2 weeks at work.

I knew he was going to be moving. I think I said it after Thanksgiving. He's never brought anyone to family dinners and he introduced her as his girlfriend. I knew then that he was going to leave. I just thought it would be after the summer. I didn't think it would be this soon.

My mom is going to have a really difficult time with this. Her baby is leaving her. Not only is her favorite child moving out of state, but now she'll have to deal with the empty nest thing. Funny, he told me that they said if it didn't work, he'd always have a place with them.... when I got laid off 4 years ago and was having a hard time financially, my mom said, "well, you know you CAN'T come back here". Like I said, he's the golden child!

What surprised me was that I was upset. I don't know why. I'm not close with my brother, even though I always wanted to be. It was always hard seeing friends of mine who were actually FRIENDS with their siblings and here is Chris and I barely on speaking terms. We see each other at my parents house and say Hi. That's about it. But I have always wanted a relationship with him. To the point that I even put, do 5 things with Chris on my 101 list. Now he's moving out of state and I won't have that chance to have that relationship with him. I won't have the chance to do those 5 things with him. He won't be anywhere near me. Considering I knew it was coming, that I knew he was going to move there sometime this year (I knew it would be before Christmas) I am VERY surprised at my reaction. I didn't think I would be upset that my little brother was moving away. But for some reason I am upset.

I am happy for him. I know he is happy. He was talking about Jess when he called me. I know he loves her. He even said that he has been in love before, but he has never had a relationship like this before. And he's a smart kid, so for him to quit his job, especially in this economy, and up and move to another city, it really has to be love.

I'm not sure how this is going to effect my relationship or lack there of with him. Who knows, maybe now because we can't hang out, we'd actually "talk" through email or something. He told me that I would have a place to stay if I ever wanted to go out to St. Louis. Who knows, I could always go out for a weekend to see a baseball game... too bad the teams are in different leagues and don't play each other at all the entire season!

I guess I need to make sure that I am around for my mom more often. I think she is going to have a really hard time adjusting to all of this. I'm still very surprised that I was upset. I don't know. Life changes and my little brother is moving to St. Louis.