Yesterday morning when I woke up, I laid in bed for a while, watching the news, playing on my laptop. It was 7:50 when I updated my facebook status to "Ever have mornings that you just don't want to get out of bed??"
I finally forced myself to get up and managed to make it to work only 5 minutes late at 8:35. (love my 5 mile commute)
Last night I went to be around 10:30, didn't fall right to sleep. I remember tossing and turning most of the night. I should have just turned on the AC, but I didn't want to have to close all of the windows too. So I continued to toss and turn.
You know when you finally realize, I think I'm not going back to sleep at this point and wonder what time is? Then you finally give in and look at the clock? Yeah, that was at 4:30am. So, again, watched the news, grabbed the laptop. And at 6am, gave up. It was a bit dreary out so I didn't want to go for a walk or jog. I ended up hopping into the shower and made it my office before 7:30.
Lucky me had a crazy busy day working on various new projects that need to be done immediately. I forgot to take any break at all at lunch time and didn't realize I didn't eat until 4pm.
At 5 when my department was leaving, I was almost done with a big portion of the project I was doing... so I stayed! I ended up working until 5:30. So on maybe 5 hours of sleep I worked a 10 hour day. Nice.
I almost feel asleep when I first got home from work on my sofa, but told myself.. NO, I will never sleep through the night if I go to bed this early. Of course, I got my second wind around 9pm and cleaned out my fridge, including taking out one of the shelves to wash it in the sink (that's the shelves I put all the berry containers on). And here I am now, after 10pm, awake, laying on the sofa and on the lap top again. Interesting.
The power of positive thinking... I am going to sleep the entire night straight through and fall right to sleep when I go to bed. I am going to wake right up when my alarm goes off at 6:30 and get right now. I will make it into work early again tomorrow to get a jump start on this project and delegate and assign work to those in my department. That's my plan.
On another note.... I do NOT know what is up with my modem. First, I hate computers. I am not computer literate. I do not live on the information super highway. I just bought my first IPod last year and I still have a flip cell phone that uses T Word to text (do the kids know what that is now with their new phones??).
I have a wireless modem for my laptop. The cable comes into my living room and I have a splitter to connect it to my cable box on the TV and to my modem. Right now I see 3 lights out of 4 green. The bottom one, the one that's not any color? Yeah, that's the one that give me online access. Just not allowing it right now. Every time I am on line, I lose my connection. Not fun when I'm watching something on Hulu, or about to send a long email I didn't copy first, so when I hit send and the screen goes to change, I get the internet explorer bad screen. SO frustrating. I unplug the power cord, I unplug the cable cord, hook them back up, wait and hope I get service back. Sometimes I do, sometimes it takes me 3 or 4 times. SO frustrating! Ooops, now its back! Now I have all 4 green lights and see that this blog post finally had an autosave while I'm typing.
See what I mean? No rhyme or reason! I don't know if its the modem or splitter or cable wires or what! My cable is always fine on that TV so I don't know what's going on. Just annoying.
I realized tonight, I do have a problem with anxiety. My boss has been out for a week. His flight was last Friday morning, then he stopped in late today to check his email and do a few other things so tomorrow is easier. I was in a good mood, although tired. Even when I checked all my emails, lots of positive stuff going on. I was happy. Then I thought about work and the project and that my boss seemed a bit off. Then I got worried. Is he not telling me something? Is something up? Did I miss something? Will there be problems tomorrow? Um, what if his flight just landed and he hasn't been home yet? What if he's just tired? Yeah, that could be the case, but I have already worked myself up that somethings going to hit the fan tomorrow and then end up all over me. I don't like feeling like this. Usually when I get a bad feeling about something, I'm right. Which I hate. That helps feed my anxiety. Which, with this whole crazy spiral, is how I finally realized tonight, that yeah, I do have a problem with anxiety. Hopefully I'm just overtired and I miss read things.
I'm hoping that tomorrow is a great day. It's FRIDAY. It has to be a great day!
I'm going to try to focus on the positives. Maybe the whole, "The Secret" thing is right. The power of positive thinking, the law of attraction. Like attracts like. So if I think positive, I'll get positive.
I know I want to be happy. I know I don't want to constantly be stressed out, have my stomach in knots with headaches and have my jaw aching all the time from me constantly clenching it (right now it is KILLING ME!)
SO I need to start thinking and focusing on the positive. Easier said than done, but I'll do my best.
Let try it again. Tomorrow is going to be a great day and tonight I am going to be an amazing nights sleep. I am going to wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the day! Guess I should go to sleep with that on my mind, huh?
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