This is going to be an interesting month. I have so many things I need to figure out and my decisions could really impact things in my future.
First... do I want to do the marathon this year on not? I have been accepted onto Team Eye and Ear again. I signed the form for the $5000 minimum fundraising, but set my goal for $7500. The training is a huge commitment and so is the fundraising.
I had thought of and put some time into brainstorming about what to do for a fundraising party. BUT, that would be a lot of work to plan and put it all together. Plus getting raffle prizes donated and promoting the party to have it be successful and to have LOTS of money raised.
Then the training itself. I'm not where I was at a year ago. This time last year I was running 5 miles three times a week. I'm not doing 5 miles. I'm not doing 3 miles ONCE a week! I'm slacking so much and so far behind.
Last year I was injured in March with my back. Ever since then, every time I run, I feel it in my lower back. Do I want to put myself through that again?? Could I cause myself more injury the long term if I went for this?
And what about my time in general? Working full-time, training, planning a fund-raising party, working towards being a fitness trainer and needing to take fitness classes to get my foot in somewhere, my boyfriend, my family, my friends.... sleep!
Can I do it? Can I commit to it again this year? Or should I wait and try again for 2013 instead? Would I do it again?
I'm just really afraid of the training this time around. REALLY afraid of the training. I know what it takes. I know how painful my injury was last year and I never completely healed from that. I'm just really really worried about it.
Second is the fitness training. I had some great ideas when I was walking home tonight. I wrote it all out and that just pushed things further. I'm really excited about it and about the possibilities of what I can do with all of that. This Saturday is my first class. I cannot wait! I'm nervous but excited. This is just the first step to a dream I have and a direction that I want my life to go.
What else? Work is the same. I'm fried at this point and just burnt out. Sadly, it has started to become a paycheck more than anything else. I think that's why I'm so inspired by doing the fitness thing. I have a passion for that! I see a difference in that. I make an impact with that. Not with what I am doing right now for my paycheck.
There are more things I am not ready to get into here... if ever. Just a lot of different things on my mind. My life comes in phases and when things change... they CHANGE. I think I am on the cusp of change in my life. Things are shifting. I have done so much work on myself over the past several years and I have completely changed my life and changed the direction of my life. I am a different person in every way than I was just 5 years ago. It's just crazy to see that now.
And I can feel more things are changing. More things are coming. I've worked hard to get where I am. I've had some things end but I have had so many new things come into my life and it keeps growing. I can feel more shifting about to happen too. I don't know what. I don't know where, but I feel it. Things are happening.
I don't know if it will all be good, happy, positive changes. Things aren't always like that, at least when they happen. But eventually, in hindsight, the changes were the necessary and for the best, no matter how difficult when living through it. I'm nervous about those changes and I think things like that could and might happen. But I don't know. I do know that whatever happens is supposed to happen and I always land on my feet. :)
So today was very interesting! Two friends were on the news today! How crazy is that? Two different, completely unrelated stories, news stations, friends who don't know each other... both on the news.
The local news story was someone from my marathon team, Liz. She lives and works in Boston and Friday at lunch was walking home so she could take her dog out for a walk (her Facebook pictures of her dog are SO cute!) She was assaulted by a guy from Occupy Boston, who was arrested. He grabbed her and started screaming at her.
Fox News had it as the top story tonight when they interviewed her from her home. It was weird too, cuz just before that, the Country Awards were on TV. Liz had just posted "
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