Another Sunday Funday

My weeks have just been so busy, one after another after another. The summer is just going by so quickly! A week from tomorrow is already August. I don't want it to go by that fast. I just want to enjoy it all before its gone.

So far, this summer has been really good. The weather was SO hot this week, over 100 a couple of times. That was crazy for the Boston area. But after this winter, I'll take it!

Yesterday was super busy with shopping (food & clothes), cleaning, hair cut, and just overall running around. But the house is clean minus vacuuming. Food is bought & laundry is done (just need to put it all away).

Today I had planned out too. I left the guys house EARLY. I was awake at about 5:45 this morning, which is just wrong for a Sunday (still not sleeping but more on that in a bit). I let out the dog, folded my laundry, helped him shave his head and I was home before 7. I started feeding the cats, finished cleaning the bathroom and baked 38 mini chocolate cherry cupcakes for a cookout this afternoon. Then I hopped in the shower, put on my bathing suit, got my bag ready to go, and was just finishing up when I got a text message that our kayaking trip this morning was canceled! I was PISSED!

I had to call the guy, who was about 1/2 way to my house, to tell him. SO he turned around and headed home. Um, yeah, the storms already passed. We would have been fine! Oh well.

Now I have hours free, which is completely unusual for me. I'm going to the guys house for 1pm so we can head up to his brother's house for a cookout (the cupcakes). I was planning on taking a shower after kayaking, so when I showered this morning and shaved my legs, I only conditioned my hair and didn't wash it. Now I'll have to take another shower again.

I'm a little nervous about the cookout. I was glad we were kayaking this morning and that I was going to be busy all morning. Then I wouldn't have to think about meeting his family for the first time! Now I have time to sit and think and stew! I don't want to be nervous about it but I want them to like me. He was with his ex for 3 or 4 years and they just ended about 6 months ago. His family knew her. I don't know how they felt about her, I haven't asked and it really doesn't matter. But having someone new come in is different.

I want to make a good impression and I really do want them to like me. I really care about him and I'm so happy in this relationship. I want to get to know his family. That's part of the reason I was shopping yesterday. First, I had a 20% off coupon at Kohl's, plus $10 off and both were going to expire. Then I had a gift certificate to Marshall's too. So I went to both and bought LOTS. I am pretty sure of the skort I'm wearing, just need to figure out what top I want to wear with it.

SO what else?? No kayaking. Summer is flying. My weekend has been busy. Meeting the family today. I guess the guy in general.

Things are so good with us. I'm completely myself with him and I can say anything to him. He never makes me feel judged and never makes me feel uncomfortable around him. We have fun together and he always makes me laugh. He's such a good & kind person but he looks like he'll mess you up. Yeah, he's not perfect. He has a temper which I'm sure he's holding back a bit around me. He can be as impatient as me, sometimes even more impatient. But he's a hard worker. He follows through and is true to his word. He's kind and sweet to me.

My favorite is what we had this morning when I first woke up. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and came back to bed. I was laying next to him, but I was on my belly. He rolled over onto his side and just draped his arm over my back. I love that. I love just laying in bed with his arms around me.

Sometimes he'll lay behind me, with one arm under me and one over me, and he'll put his leg over my leg too. I'll be completely wrapped up in him. I can't sleep like that, but I love to lay like that in his arms.

He makes me happy. He is good to me and I like being around him.

What else? I've been sick. ALL WEEK! After not sleeping last week because of all the stress at work (still not sleeping well), I just got completely run down. It started in my chest with some congestion on Tuesday and was worse on Wednesday. Wednesday at work I had 2 trainings I gave that were an hour a piece, plus a 45 minute phone call. By Wednesday night, I could feel the cold moving to my throat. Thursday... lost my voice. I had to cancel the 2 trainings I had scheduled for that day... NO WAY I could talk that long! I could barely handle a 5 minute call. Friday it was still in my throat, but my voice was better. I was just coughing a lot, the dry hacking cough. And Saturday and today?? Congestion is back, more in my sinuses now. Still don't have my voice completely back and still have the dry hacking cough. I sound WONDERFUL! That's how I woke up this morning... all congested, sneezing, coughing and just couldn't breathe.

I'm hoping the cold will go away by tomorrow or Tuesday at the latest. I'm sure the weather and having AC's on all the time isn't helping either. I guess allergies are pretty bad too. Put it all together and I'm just a mess and sound horrible.

The stress that is causing it all still isn't resolved. The our outside HR company rep was writing up a report with her findings on her investigation along with her recommendations. The report should have been done on Friday and was going to be given to my company president for her review. Then she'll be the one to make a final decision.

Based on a meeting I had in her office on Thursday that lasted less than 5 minutes, it seemed like she already made her decision before the report. I don't know if she knows all the details of what happened. I don't know if she knows everything he did or said. I am hoping that she doesn't know. I can't imagine getting that vibe from the meeting if she really did know. I can't imagine her being sympathetic to him if she knows what happened.

After the meeting it felt like her final decision and resolution was already reached. I'm pretty sure, no matter what the report says, that he'll end up keeping his job. I'm pretty sure that the only thing that will happen will be that his desk will move. He will no longer sit in the building, but will instead work from home. And that will be it. Everything else will stay the same.

Yes, that does keep him away from me and keep me from being in the situation again, but isn't that basically saying what he did was ok? Him keeping his job, doesn't that say that his position is more important than what he could have done to others? I know it is by no means the same level, but with the Catholic Church abuse issues, wasn't a big part of the problem the cover up? When something happened with a priest, didn't they just remove him from the situation without doing anything else? Just move him to somewhere else?

I know that's why I haven't been sleeping. I officially reported everything a week ago this past Thursday. The night before that I slept a full night. Last night was the first time I slept a full night since. It was about a week and half of waking up every night. I'm tired, run down & stressed. Last night I went to bed after 11:30 and was awake at 5:45. Six straight hours is HUGE for what I've been getting for sleep. I'm still tired, but just happy I slept straight through the night for once.

Monday or Tuesday I should have the decision on everything that is going on. I'll find out then about what is happening with him. SO who knows if I'll sleep tonight, thinking about that possibility tomorrow. :(

Hmm... Running group is great. We finished week 2 of this session and this group is great! I'm really happy I have this. I didn't golf this week or do Pilate's because of my cold and I only worked out with the guy once. I'm slacking but my weight is back to around 124-125 regularly this week. I'm ok with that. I'd rather get back to my normal 123 to have a few extra pounds to play with, but 125 is ok too.

After shopping yesterday, I realized my size still switches around. I had a bunch of 6's that were just too big. My waist is really small and I still have hips, even though they are MUCH smaller (not as much of a figure as I had cuz I lost a lot of them). I could have gone for 4's but just didn't, even though the skirt I was wearing shopping yesterday was a 4. I never ever thought I'd be fitting into a size 4! And I never thought I'd try on 6's and have them way too big for me that I could fit my entire fist inside the pants. Talk about coming a long way!

January of 2009 I weighted 162. By January of 2010, I was down to 142. Then last year I lost even more. This January I was sticking to 123. I would get nervous when I saw the scale drop to 121, or even the one time it was at 120. And when it started to go up, I'd watch it then too. Generally I was at 122-125. And even with the scale that weight, my body continued to shift. I lost inches and firmed up and toned and just got smaller while keeping the scale steady.

I can't wait to start swimming again in the fall. Who knew that I'd miss it that much! But I really really do. We are doing another 1/2 marathon in the fall, a group of us girls. I can't wait! But I really need to start training. I've been SO slacking on my running lately. I need to build back up and consistently get in the mileage.

Ahh... ok, now that I have written a book here! Guess I had lots to say after another week of not writing. My life is always busy. There is always something going on, or some sort of drama. Many times it is nothing I wanted or did to bring it into my life... like this mess at work. I didn't ask for that and didn't do anything to bring it on, but I still need to deal with it. All I can do is continue to focus on the good parts of my life. I have a great guy in my life who makes me so happy. I have a much better relationship with my family. The rest of my professional life is going really really well. I have great friends and even my cat is getting better (lower dose of insulin after the last vet appointment!). SO life is overall more good than bad.

On a whole, I'm happy. I like where things are and I like what I have. I laugh every day. I spend my time doing things I enjoy with people I care about. What else can I ask for, right??