I was supposed to meet some friends this morning at 9am to do my 5K training. I was going to stop at the store on the way home for a few groceries. It is now almost noon, I'm on the sofa, watching TV, in my boxers and tank top, eating chips and salsa. How'd that plan go that wrong? :) But I am doing an MMA fit thing at 3 with a friend of mine and meeting up some other friends later to go out tonight. Going to be fun, I think. Looking forward to it.
I still have lots to do around the house today. I have a list of cleaning to do, I need to figure out what I'm wearing tonight and I get ready for the beach with mom tomorrow. Yet, I'm still laying on the sofa watching TV. I know I need times to relax sometimes, but I need to find some motivation! At least I know I have to leave my house by 2:30, so I have an end time for sofa time. I'm sure, knowing me, around 2pm I'll get hit with motivation and want to clean everything just before I have to leave my house. Very typical.
So far for August, I'm well on my way for my monthly goals. I have already golfed once and I'm going again on Tuesday. With where I am at in my jogging training (AGAIN) I should be able to do 2 miles in a couple of weeks. I'm keeping up with the food journal for the most part but missing a couple. I'm going out with south shore people tonight outside of a meetup event. I'm looking for yoga and zumba, and I need to go see Alex. Then just the farmers market and cleaning my closet.
Overall, things seem to be going really well for me right now. I'm busy with work and with my personal life. And I'm having fun. I love the running group and I really look forward to my nights on the track. I've had fun with golf and even though I SUCK, I'm having a good time. I'm healthier than I have even been! (minus the chips and salsa right next to me!) My anxiety levels have dropped. I'm more focused on everything. Things are just going much more smoothly. I am better able to handle stress and difficult situations. I know when to ask for help. I have become more responsible in my life and with my finances. I know where my limits are and I have been much better at staying within them. Things are going really well for me and I'm more positive about my life.
Generally when things are this good in my life, I look for the other shoe to drop. I wait for the bad thing that is about to happen and mess it all up. I always said that my life is like a roller coaster, full of sharp ups and down. When things were going well, I was always waiting to crest over that steep rise before things went crashing down. I'd hold my breathe waiting for it, knowing the longer things were going well, the better they were, the longer and faster the fall would be. Pretty scary living like that.
But now things have changed a bit. I'm enjoying the ride. On more of a kiddy coaster this time, but with a longer track. Yeah, there are still some ups and downs, but the drops aren't as big and the overall ride is a bit more smooth. Although there might be a big drop at some point that just jumps out, I'm not waiting for it. All I can see right now is an even ride with some twists and turns taking me in different directions... just not down. And I like this ride a lot better. Its more fun. I don't have my stomach in my throat. I'm not waiting to drop down. I can see what's around me and enjoy the scenery along the way. Things are just good on this ride. I wish I'd found this ride a lot earlier.
I am much more calm lately, even in my mind. I'm less anxious and I'm not hyper focused on negative things that I work up even worse in my mind. I see the good, I see the positive and I see things more realistically. I've having a better time communicating with people and am less likely to misinterpret others intentions.
I really like this new way of being for me. Things are better. Life is easier. And I'm having more fun!
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